Hello,

I am the HR Manager in an IT startup with a total of 6 employees. We are all in the age group of 23-26 years and are more like friends than just colleagues.

We have a laid-back boss and are happy to work for him. However, there are typical minor boss-subordinate issues among us that we tend to discuss amongst ourselves (note that these are discussions only, no negative talk). As the HR person, my colleagues look up to me to help solve these issues.

Unfortunately, our boss expects me to report everything that is shared with me, almost like a spy, so that necessary actions can be taken, and he can be fully informed about his team.

I find myself in a dilemma these days as I need to strike a balance between the employees and my boss. If I act as "the spy," my colleagues may lose trust in me and stop confiding in me altogether, leaving me with no information to share with my boss.

How can I navigate this challenging situation and ensure a balanced dynamic in this complex boss-subordinate relationship?

From India, Mumbai
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Dear Rucha,

It is indeed a tight situation. Being in HR is like walking on the rope in the air. With just one mistake, we tumble due to off-balance.

I would like to suggest that -

Since you and your colleagues are discussing the different issues, might as well probe the discussion so that it can be taken to the next level to determine what is to be done to solve them.

At the same time, you can tell your boss that lunchtime is just fun time. However, if at all there is anything that raises an alarm, you should be speaking it out to him.

It is expected of HR to be communicating the issues at the staff level to management so that they can do something to curb it and try to promote good working culture. However, often this is misused more than used.

You can tell your boss that you all are discussing how some things can be handled in a different way and are still brainstorming on a better idea to be implemented.

This will satisfy your employer that all of you are engaged and motivated to work.

Hope this helps you.

From India, Mumbai
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Hi Rucha,

Anjita has given good advice. I would only add that when you are having these discussions, it might be a good idea if the discussion is concluded by you suggesting that you will bring up the discussion with the boss. This way, the team will not lose your trust.

However, to maintain your HR authority, you must also give the feedback after you have discussed with the boss. Also, occasionally you should ask the boss to take part in these discussions, even if they are informal. This will show the team that you have a caring boss.

You will find that the vicious circle is now balanced. Hope the above helps.

Regards,
Harsh

From United Kingdom, Barrow
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Hello Rucha Kamat,

Ankita and Harsh have given good suggestions.

However, I think there are a few aspects of the HR profession that you may need to recap or keep in mind.

Coming to your remark 'like I am a spy or something in the name of HR' -- essentially, it depends on how YOU carry on this task whether you get branded as a 'spy' OR a 'feedback channel' between the two levels [boss and employees].

Whether you like/agree with it or not, one of the roles of HR essentially involves this aspect -- so the sooner you get used to it and master the art, the better for you. Like Ankita said, 'often this is misused more than used.' It's very easy, but difficult to realize, to cross the line between use and abuse of this aspect of HR.

I think this is where the suggestion of Harsh ['occasionally you should ask the boss to take part in these discussions'] will help you to preempt any scope for such situations to occur. When you give your feedback to your boss, if you have any cause to doubt your opinion/conclusion about any issue discussed, end with a rider that "THIS IS AS PER MY UNDERSTANDING and I COULD BE WRONG TOO" and that you would like periodic informal participation by him too to confirm/correct your views of what's being discussed by the employees.

Another aspect is this: resist the temptation of revealing to your boss any personal matters being discussed during lunchtimes -- like what an employee had for breakfast, etc. This may look quite innocuous, but sometimes this could happen due to a casual slip-of-tongue [depending on your mental frame of mind at that instance], and could lead to a rise in expectations from the boss's end.

All the Best.

Regards,

TS

From India, Hyderabad
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Ankita, Harsh, Tajsateesh...

Thank you! :)

The points that you all have mentioned are all correct in their own ways. I guess I should just mention what I liked the most out of your suggestions:

1. If at all there is anything that raises an alarm, you should be speaking it out to him.
2. Open communications are often misused more than used.
3. Maintaining the HR authority (good that you reminded me of this).
4. Essentially it depends on how YOU carry on this task whether you get branded as a 'spy' OR a 'feedback channel' between the 2 levels.

I am in the middle of conducting employee skip-level meetings and hence have been facing these issues. (Apparently, the previous HR resigned because she got sandwiched and faced the wrath of both the employees and the boss). This shows that I need to be careful here and handle the meetings tactfully, making the most sensitive questions sound casual (thus get honest answers to them) and also let the boss know (that he's the boss, ultimately :-/ ).

From India, Mumbai
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