Dear all HR professionals,
You must all be dealing with issues of stress and burnout in the workplace. I was trying to find out whether an improved spiritual quotient of an employee can help them to overcome burnout.
I would like to hear your valuable opinions on:
1. Can the spirituality quotient of a person be enhanced through certain methods/practices?
2. Can spirituality quotient help in reducing the likelihood of burnout in employees?
I await your expert opinions on this.
Regards,
Prasanna Shembekar
Sr. Faculty & HR Consultant
Octave B School, Nagpur
From India, Nagpur
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3You must all be dealing with issues of stress and burnout in the workplace. I was trying to find out whether an improved spiritual quotient of an employee can help them to overcome burnout.
I would like to hear your valuable opinions on:
1. Can the spirituality quotient of a person be enhanced through certain methods/practices?
2. Can spirituality quotient help in reducing the likelihood of burnout in employees?
I await your expert opinions on this.
Regards,
Prasanna Shembekar
Sr. Faculty & HR Consultant
Octave B School, Nagpur
From India, Nagpur
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Dear Prassanna,
Firms invest in spiritual level training for their employees. The corporate endorsement for Art of Living and Isha Foundation are the biggest examples of this practice. By and large, this affects the way the attendees approach stress. The development takes practice and discipline; hence, the results may vary. The techniques can be learned but require daily practice, especially in difficult situations.
Oprah Winfrey ensures Transcendental Meditation for all of her employees at work. Here's the article stating the practice Transcendental Meditation: Good for Oprah and Startups.
Looking forward to understanding how our members have implemented formal and informal programs on this.
From India, Mumbai
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Firms invest in spiritual level training for their employees. The corporate endorsement for Art of Living and Isha Foundation are the biggest examples of this practice. By and large, this affects the way the attendees approach stress. The development takes practice and discipline; hence, the results may vary. The techniques can be learned but require daily practice, especially in difficult situations.
Oprah Winfrey ensures Transcendental Meditation for all of her employees at work. Here's the article stating the practice Transcendental Meditation: Good for Oprah and Startups.
Looking forward to understanding how our members have implemented formal and informal programs on this.
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Ms. Prasanna Shembekar,
Good topic! Spiritual fascination intensifies and magnifies worldly thoughts, and Being and Doing, Work and Spiritual Practice talks about being realistic about spiritual beliefs.
In my opinion, spiritual quotient gives purpose to motivation. Especially, employees become profoundly motivated in terms of making good decisions overwhelmingly, which gives purpose to their work. Spiritual intelligence works better as a cause to achieve the goals or plans set.
From India, Visakhapatnam
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Good topic! Spiritual fascination intensifies and magnifies worldly thoughts, and Being and Doing, Work and Spiritual Practice talks about being realistic about spiritual beliefs.
In my opinion, spiritual quotient gives purpose to motivation. Especially, employees become profoundly motivated in terms of making good decisions overwhelmingly, which gives purpose to their work. Spiritual intelligence works better as a cause to achieve the goals or plans set.
From India, Visakhapatnam
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Many thanks to (Cite Contribution) and Sharmila Das. Thanks to both of you!
I am very keen on finding out whether spirituality really helps an employee to come out of situations of distress. In Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna has asked to practice "Karmayoga" where the results are not the focal point of the Karma. However, in work life, everybody needs to be result-oriented. I think that is the main reason why we develop stress. Expectations from others that we should "continuously deliver" results! It is tiresome and sometimes frustrating.
Regards,
Prasanna
From India, Nagpur
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I am very keen on finding out whether spirituality really helps an employee to come out of situations of distress. In Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna has asked to practice "Karmayoga" where the results are not the focal point of the Karma. However, in work life, everybody needs to be result-oriented. I think that is the main reason why we develop stress. Expectations from others that we should "continuously deliver" results! It is tiresome and sometimes frustrating.
Regards,
Prasanna
From India, Nagpur
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Indeed, spirituality has a great impact on every human being. Some surveys have shown that spirituality in the workplace has a positive relationship with job satisfaction. Hence, one can introduce meditation and yoga to employees as part of welfare programs. It will definitely help them to relieve stress and recharge.
I myself have taken meditation courses and am associated with a group as well. They can arrange for a meditation workshop if required.
Regards,
Mugdha
From India, Hyderabad
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I myself have taken meditation courses and am associated with a group as well. They can arrange for a meditation workshop if required.
Regards,
Mugdha
From India, Hyderabad
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Dear Ms. Mugdha, Thats really nice to hear from you! Could be give us any inputs on the courses? Also, did like to know more about the group & how many days does a workshop last... Thanks!
From India, Visakhapatnam
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From India, Visakhapatnam
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Dear Prasanna,
There are three things: Spiritual Quotient, Emotional Quotient, and Intellectual Quotient, and all three are interlinked. The best part that very few people realize is that if your Spiritual Quotient is high, the emotional side of you is eased out, even if you are not intellectually sound. It's very true that looking inward helps individuals develop a calm mind and thereby not get worked up when things do not work out. We offer a Personal Transformation Workshop, which involves looking inward and truly connecting with yourself, your beliefs, and all those obstacles that come your way in living a fulfilling life. Also, "Trust," which is a part of Spiritual Quotient, plays a major role in relieving stress. Please feel free to call me if you need more info.
From India, Bangalore
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There are three things: Spiritual Quotient, Emotional Quotient, and Intellectual Quotient, and all three are interlinked. The best part that very few people realize is that if your Spiritual Quotient is high, the emotional side of you is eased out, even if you are not intellectually sound. It's very true that looking inward helps individuals develop a calm mind and thereby not get worked up when things do not work out. We offer a Personal Transformation Workshop, which involves looking inward and truly connecting with yourself, your beliefs, and all those obstacles that come your way in living a fulfilling life. Also, "Trust," which is a part of Spiritual Quotient, plays a major role in relieving stress. Please feel free to call me if you need more info.
From India, Bangalore
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Ok. Imagine this.
Imagine you have a loving father (a sentient being) looking out for you all the time. Imagine that whatever happens to you happens because HE put it there. Suddenly you are no longer afraid of the ups and downs of life. You know you are taken care of and that now you can have fun. Sometimes we forget who we are, and we get too engrossed in the game, which is okay too. But when we fail and are out of the game, we are once again aware of where we are - in a happy place.
From India, Bangalore
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Imagine you have a loving father (a sentient being) looking out for you all the time. Imagine that whatever happens to you happens because HE put it there. Suddenly you are no longer afraid of the ups and downs of life. You know you are taken care of and that now you can have fun. Sometimes we forget who we are, and we get too engrossed in the game, which is okay too. But when we fail and are out of the game, we are once again aware of where we are - in a happy place.
From India, Bangalore
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Why are people so attached to everything around them? Why is everything so serious as if our very lives depend on it?
What if in the end nothing really matters? What if our future is assured? Would we be able to see this life and everything in it as a game? Not to be perturbed by anything?
The objective of the game is to keep a steady consciousness like a candle flame in a closed room and everything else is just to be treated as a distraction?
From India, Bangalore
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What if in the end nothing really matters? What if our future is assured? Would we be able to see this life and everything in it as a game? Not to be perturbed by anything?
The objective of the game is to keep a steady consciousness like a candle flame in a closed room and everything else is just to be treated as a distraction?
From India, Bangalore
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Hello Prasanna Shembekar,
To answer both of your queries in a single word, the answer is YES—saying this from personal experience. BUT NOT from the perspective you seem to be understanding it from.
Sherley Johnson has said it right about the interconnection between the different—3—levels [Spiritual Quotient, Emotional Quotient, and Intellectual Quotient] of a human being, in terms of his/her potential to interact with the world-at-large.
To go for a brief recap, during the first half of the last century [1930-1950s], the general focus of the western psychologists was on the IQ—Intellectual Quotient—aspect of a human being. Later, it was discovered that EQ is a better measurement of a person's happiness/satisfaction level. Then came the realization that SQ would be the best and long-term method to cover ALL the aspects of human existence IN ADDITION TO addressing all the shortcomings of the earlier 2 measurement techniques—IQ and EQ.
And the irony of the whole thing was that this was known within India since eons/ages and we depended on the West to rediscover it all over again [like the concept of 'Zero']!!!
Actually, your queries, taken in consonance with your comment about The Bhagavad Gita message ['...where in results are not the focal point of the Karma...'] convey that you are MIXING UP the core principles more than anything else.
Let me explain:
Let's take your Second Query First [Can spirituality quotient help in reducing possibilities of burnout in employees?].
Understanding and enhancing SQ DOESN'T 'per se' reduce Burnout or any such condition DIRECTLY in a person. It only plays a 'critical' role in the 'effect' of such situations/conditions. SQ gives an individual the ABILITY to view situations from DIFFERENT and ALSO MULTIPLE perspectives/angles. This, in turn, enables the person to get a better grasp/understanding of his/her worldly experiences—hate, pain, ecstasy, pressure, etc.—from multiple perspectives, which in turn enables him/her to calibrate his/her 'internal response mechanism'—sort of 'fine-tune' the internal mechanism, which further leads to a better EXTERNAL/OUTWARD response that those around him/her actually see/notice.
To give a very simplistic analogy: when someone shouts/rebukes a group of people, one person may go into a sulk/depression, another may shout back, yet another may complain to the relative power-center [in a work environment, the Boss] and yet another may just ignore the rebuke BUT bear it in mind to hit back later and there COULD be a person who can just smile away the rebuke and forget it and get on with life.
The response mechanism in each of the persons is DIFFERENT...which leads to the 'genetically inherent' SQ [whether the individual notices/knows it or not]. The Original situation was the SAME for all of them, yet the responses were totally different in each of them.
Hope you get the point.
Coming to your Query-1 [can spirituality quotient of a person be improved by some method/practice?].
In general, anything and everything—BOTH positive and negative—can be 'improved/perfected' by practice, and SQ isn't an exception. Like the Saying goes: 'Practice makes a man Perfect'.
Actually, there are multiple methods to improve SQ...some of them being what other members already mentioned: Meditation, Yoga [some of the Asanas]. However, the Best bet would be following the path of 'doing your duty and giving your Best to whatever you are doing'—this is where the "Karma Yogi" concept comes into the scene. In short, it says what I mentioned above—so in such an attitude to life and work, one doesn't need to depend on any Meditation or Yoga to enhance and maintain his/her SQ—which invariably entails additional effort and time—to handle such situations in life.
That doesn't mean a karma yogi doesn't face problems OR isn't focused on the Results—it's just that HIS/HER RESPONSE TO SUCH SITUATIONS IS DIFFERENT, which leads him/her to evolve different and more original solutions to the situations that he/she comes across in the course of work.
Being "not focused on results" DOESN'T MEAN that the 'results' are 'out-of-view'.
If this were so, Krishna wouldn't have said before the War and after he returned from the failed attempt to avert the war—'now that the decision to fight the war has been taken, it's our Dharma to win it'. [There are other angles/aspects to this—of Truth and Dharma—but that would be another topic altogether].
It just means that the person is ALWAYS looking at the LARGER picture—which would ALSO include the possibility of the desired results not being achieved. This MENTALLY prepares him/her for any eventuality. Like that Saying goes: "Strive and Hope for the Best and Prepare for the Worst". And when the person is mentally prepared for ANY and EVERY eventuality, he/she is NOT AFFECTED by what finally happens.
And the whole BEAUTY of this approach is this: More than acting as a 'constraint', such enhanced SQ actually increases the THRESHOLD of the individual to pain/shock/surprises.... AND this leads to the individual to MAINTAIN his/her FOCUS to come out with incredible solutions....in management parlance, "out-of-the-box" thinking [HOW such enhanced thinking capacity is put to use—for positive/good OR negative/bad causes—is a totally different matter altogether]. This is a large subject by itself in Parapsychology Labs now.
From another perspective, WHAT happens IS NOT in YOUR hands [since it is dependent on many variables], but HOW you ALLOW IT TO AFFECT you is absolutely in your hands. That's what SQ attempts to build-up/enhance in an individual.
I hope this hasn't made things more confusing.
Rgds,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
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To answer both of your queries in a single word, the answer is YES—saying this from personal experience. BUT NOT from the perspective you seem to be understanding it from.
Sherley Johnson has said it right about the interconnection between the different—3—levels [Spiritual Quotient, Emotional Quotient, and Intellectual Quotient] of a human being, in terms of his/her potential to interact with the world-at-large.
To go for a brief recap, during the first half of the last century [1930-1950s], the general focus of the western psychologists was on the IQ—Intellectual Quotient—aspect of a human being. Later, it was discovered that EQ is a better measurement of a person's happiness/satisfaction level. Then came the realization that SQ would be the best and long-term method to cover ALL the aspects of human existence IN ADDITION TO addressing all the shortcomings of the earlier 2 measurement techniques—IQ and EQ.
And the irony of the whole thing was that this was known within India since eons/ages and we depended on the West to rediscover it all over again [like the concept of 'Zero']!!!
Actually, your queries, taken in consonance with your comment about The Bhagavad Gita message ['...where in results are not the focal point of the Karma...'] convey that you are MIXING UP the core principles more than anything else.
Let me explain:
Let's take your Second Query First [Can spirituality quotient help in reducing possibilities of burnout in employees?].
Understanding and enhancing SQ DOESN'T 'per se' reduce Burnout or any such condition DIRECTLY in a person. It only plays a 'critical' role in the 'effect' of such situations/conditions. SQ gives an individual the ABILITY to view situations from DIFFERENT and ALSO MULTIPLE perspectives/angles. This, in turn, enables the person to get a better grasp/understanding of his/her worldly experiences—hate, pain, ecstasy, pressure, etc.—from multiple perspectives, which in turn enables him/her to calibrate his/her 'internal response mechanism'—sort of 'fine-tune' the internal mechanism, which further leads to a better EXTERNAL/OUTWARD response that those around him/her actually see/notice.
To give a very simplistic analogy: when someone shouts/rebukes a group of people, one person may go into a sulk/depression, another may shout back, yet another may complain to the relative power-center [in a work environment, the Boss] and yet another may just ignore the rebuke BUT bear it in mind to hit back later and there COULD be a person who can just smile away the rebuke and forget it and get on with life.
The response mechanism in each of the persons is DIFFERENT...which leads to the 'genetically inherent' SQ [whether the individual notices/knows it or not]. The Original situation was the SAME for all of them, yet the responses were totally different in each of them.
Hope you get the point.
Coming to your Query-1 [can spirituality quotient of a person be improved by some method/practice?].
In general, anything and everything—BOTH positive and negative—can be 'improved/perfected' by practice, and SQ isn't an exception. Like the Saying goes: 'Practice makes a man Perfect'.
Actually, there are multiple methods to improve SQ...some of them being what other members already mentioned: Meditation, Yoga [some of the Asanas]. However, the Best bet would be following the path of 'doing your duty and giving your Best to whatever you are doing'—this is where the "Karma Yogi" concept comes into the scene. In short, it says what I mentioned above—so in such an attitude to life and work, one doesn't need to depend on any Meditation or Yoga to enhance and maintain his/her SQ—which invariably entails additional effort and time—to handle such situations in life.
That doesn't mean a karma yogi doesn't face problems OR isn't focused on the Results—it's just that HIS/HER RESPONSE TO SUCH SITUATIONS IS DIFFERENT, which leads him/her to evolve different and more original solutions to the situations that he/she comes across in the course of work.
Being "not focused on results" DOESN'T MEAN that the 'results' are 'out-of-view'.
If this were so, Krishna wouldn't have said before the War and after he returned from the failed attempt to avert the war—'now that the decision to fight the war has been taken, it's our Dharma to win it'. [There are other angles/aspects to this—of Truth and Dharma—but that would be another topic altogether].
It just means that the person is ALWAYS looking at the LARGER picture—which would ALSO include the possibility of the desired results not being achieved. This MENTALLY prepares him/her for any eventuality. Like that Saying goes: "Strive and Hope for the Best and Prepare for the Worst". And when the person is mentally prepared for ANY and EVERY eventuality, he/she is NOT AFFECTED by what finally happens.
And the whole BEAUTY of this approach is this: More than acting as a 'constraint', such enhanced SQ actually increases the THRESHOLD of the individual to pain/shock/surprises.... AND this leads to the individual to MAINTAIN his/her FOCUS to come out with incredible solutions....in management parlance, "out-of-the-box" thinking [HOW such enhanced thinking capacity is put to use—for positive/good OR negative/bad causes—is a totally different matter altogether]. This is a large subject by itself in Parapsychology Labs now.
From another perspective, WHAT happens IS NOT in YOUR hands [since it is dependent on many variables], but HOW you ALLOW IT TO AFFECT you is absolutely in your hands. That's what SQ attempts to build-up/enhance in an individual.
I hope this hasn't made things more confusing.
Rgds,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
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Hello Prasanna,
Yes, spiritual quotient can be improved by following our religious practices and applying the teachings in our daily routine activities. Many people do follow certain philosophies which enable them to lead a righteous lifestyle, for example, Vedanta Philosophy (By Vivekananda), Zen Philosophy, etc. Lately, many people enroll in Art of Living programs to reconnect with their soul and let go of the emotional baggage that accumulates over time, leading us to judge people and situations.
Being spiritually enriched does help in coping with stress and burnout.
Personally, I also work in a highly stressful work assignment, but I make it a point to take off one week a year and go for a spiritual retreat. Honestly, this one week rejuvenates me completely, and I feel recharged to take on new challenges. It is all about following a simple philosophy - live one day at a time, go with the flow, do your best, and leave the rest to God.
In a corporate context, many IT companies arrange stress management programs where mainly Yoga techniques are applied. Vipassana is a very good meditation program. In fact, these days, many premier management institutes and schools have included Vipassana as part of their yearly program.
Hope the above info is useful.
- Gia
From India, Pune
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Yes, spiritual quotient can be improved by following our religious practices and applying the teachings in our daily routine activities. Many people do follow certain philosophies which enable them to lead a righteous lifestyle, for example, Vedanta Philosophy (By Vivekananda), Zen Philosophy, etc. Lately, many people enroll in Art of Living programs to reconnect with their soul and let go of the emotional baggage that accumulates over time, leading us to judge people and situations.
Being spiritually enriched does help in coping with stress and burnout.
Personally, I also work in a highly stressful work assignment, but I make it a point to take off one week a year and go for a spiritual retreat. Honestly, this one week rejuvenates me completely, and I feel recharged to take on new challenges. It is all about following a simple philosophy - live one day at a time, go with the flow, do your best, and leave the rest to God.
In a corporate context, many IT companies arrange stress management programs where mainly Yoga techniques are applied. Vipassana is a very good meditation program. In fact, these days, many premier management institutes and schools have included Vipassana as part of their yearly program.
Hope the above info is useful.
- Gia
From India, Pune
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Hi All
Appreciate Taj Satheesh's way of saying it. - WHAT happens IS NOT in YOUR hands, but HOW you ALLOW IT TO EFFECT you is absolutely in your hands.
Let me relate a simple incident to explain this.
A friend had gone to a restaurant. Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on her. She started screaming out of fear. She jumped, and tried desperately to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group started yelling too.
She finally managed to push the cockroach on a man in the group. Now, it was the turn of the man in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. The cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behaviour of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and took it away.
Now, let's analyse this incident. Was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behaviour? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the group to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the group.
Replace the cockroach planting itself on the lady, with anything else like - Mother's anger, wife's unhappiness, child's lack of discipline, boss's arrogance, death of a loved one.
It is not the incident that disturbs us, but it is our inability to handle the disturbances caused by the incident that disturbs us.
It is not the traffic jams on the road that is the problem, but our inability to tolerate the frustration caused in us, by the traffic jam that disturbs us.
More than the problem, it’s the reaction to the problem that matters.
We constantly attribute our emotional outbursts to causes outside us. The truth is these “causes” only trigger our minds into self talk that validates existing beliefs. These beliefs are different in different people and hence the different reactions.
Example:
Trigger: Boss shouts at subordinates for not completing something on time.
Self talk of A: “I must do all my work perfectly. Others should praise me for it. Otherwise I am useless. My boss just shouted at me. I am fit for nothing.”
Self talk of B: “I do everything perfectly. Others must be kind to me and appreciate me for everything. Otherwise THEY are useless. My boss just shouted at me. He is fit for nothing.”
Self talk of C: “I would like to do everything perfectly. Looks like I made a mistake this time. Let me be more careful next time.”
Reaction of A: Depression
Reaction of B: Anger
Reaction of C: Caution
Needless to say C’s self talk / belief is healthy.
When we have the right beliefs, we will be able to take the right step ahead, when confronted with an issue. And we will also approach failure without relenting to it. Then there can be no question of burn out.
We can discuss more on this if you are interested!
Cheers!
From India, Madras
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Appreciate Taj Satheesh's way of saying it. - WHAT happens IS NOT in YOUR hands, but HOW you ALLOW IT TO EFFECT you is absolutely in your hands.
Let me relate a simple incident to explain this.
A friend had gone to a restaurant. Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on her. She started screaming out of fear. She jumped, and tried desperately to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group started yelling too.
She finally managed to push the cockroach on a man in the group. Now, it was the turn of the man in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. The cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behaviour of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and took it away.
Now, let's analyse this incident. Was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behaviour? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the group to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the group.
Replace the cockroach planting itself on the lady, with anything else like - Mother's anger, wife's unhappiness, child's lack of discipline, boss's arrogance, death of a loved one.
It is not the incident that disturbs us, but it is our inability to handle the disturbances caused by the incident that disturbs us.
It is not the traffic jams on the road that is the problem, but our inability to tolerate the frustration caused in us, by the traffic jam that disturbs us.
More than the problem, it’s the reaction to the problem that matters.
We constantly attribute our emotional outbursts to causes outside us. The truth is these “causes” only trigger our minds into self talk that validates existing beliefs. These beliefs are different in different people and hence the different reactions.
Example:
Trigger: Boss shouts at subordinates for not completing something on time.
Self talk of A: “I must do all my work perfectly. Others should praise me for it. Otherwise I am useless. My boss just shouted at me. I am fit for nothing.”
Self talk of B: “I do everything perfectly. Others must be kind to me and appreciate me for everything. Otherwise THEY are useless. My boss just shouted at me. He is fit for nothing.”
Self talk of C: “I would like to do everything perfectly. Looks like I made a mistake this time. Let me be more careful next time.”
Reaction of A: Depression
Reaction of B: Anger
Reaction of C: Caution
Needless to say C’s self talk / belief is healthy.
When we have the right beliefs, we will be able to take the right step ahead, when confronted with an issue. And we will also approach failure without relenting to it. Then there can be no question of burn out.
We can discuss more on this if you are interested!
Cheers!
From India, Madras
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Hi Radhika :
I want to personally thank you for this post. It is a miracle that God always answers to our needs and it could be as simple as teaching through such incidents.
Just today morning I was upset about something relating to my spouse. While travelling to work my mind was clouded with all sort of negative thoughts. After reading the article below I realised that most of negative thoughts surfaced becoz of my reaction to the incident. Truly we cannot control wat happens atleast we can control our reaction (though it is difficult most of the times) but in future I shall definately try to practice.
Thanks once again !!!
From India, Pune
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I want to personally thank you for this post. It is a miracle that God always answers to our needs and it could be as simple as teaching through such incidents.
Just today morning I was upset about something relating to my spouse. While travelling to work my mind was clouded with all sort of negative thoughts. After reading the article below I realised that most of negative thoughts surfaced becoz of my reaction to the incident. Truly we cannot control wat happens atleast we can control our reaction (though it is difficult most of the times) but in future I shall definately try to practice.
Thanks once again !!!
From India, Pune
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Hi Gia
You are most welcome.
Most often, it is not an event that causes problems. It is our views or opinions about the event that disturb us. We all talk to ourselves in our minds. Our self talk reflects our opinions.
Irrational Self talk such as : "He MUST NOT get angry with me. What will I do if he is angry with me? I am useless. If I had been more careful, he wouldn't have become angry."
has made the HE's anger into a catastrophic event in my life. I have lost my self esteem and have now decided to be as submissive as possible, to avert any further anger.
When my self talk is, "he MUST listen to me when I give him advice. Otherwise he is a bad man. I SHOULD teach him a lesson."
or, "I SHOULD do only what I want. If anyone thinks they can advice me I MUST NOT listen to anything that they say."
needless to say, my self talk is Irrational.
This theory or approach to life is called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) or Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT). It equips one to identify unhealthy, self destructive, irrational beliefs and replace them with healthy, constructive, rational beliefs.
All the Irrational Beliefs of the world can be categorized into these 3 archetypes.
I must do all my work perfectly. Others should praise me for it. Otherwise I am unworthy.
I do everything perfectly. Others must be kind to me and appreciate me for everything. Otherwise they are unworthy.
The elements of the world should be effortlessly attainable and benign to me. Otherwise, the element is unworthy.
Of course, not all beliefs of someone with an Irrational belief are Irrational. These archetypes are the extremes. People can possess varied degrees of these beliefs.
These beliefs could vary for different activating events. People can possess a combination of two or more of these archetypes. The Irrationality of the Belief is compounded by the awfulization of the second clause – to wit, “Otherwise I am unworthy”, “Others are unworthy”, “The task is unworthy”.
So, when the word MUST appears in your self talk, make the self talk Rational, by asking yourself this question: "Is there a law of the universe that you must be able to avoid loss of face, or discomfort?"
If your self talk has the words synonymous to AWFUL or other such catastrophising words, tell yourself "It is bad – agreed. But how does it thus become totally bad?"
If your self talk says "I can’t stand it!" , then ask "Prove that you cannot stand it. What is it that seems unbearable?"
If your self talk condemns others tell yourself "The act/event is unpalatable. But how does that make you, others/the world bad as a whole? Don’t other opinions exist?"
Well, the post got too long now...
So, I am going to close it. I only hope it helps someone and brings a smile on your face when you talk to yourself next time!
Cheers!
Radhika
From India, Madras
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You are most welcome.
Most often, it is not an event that causes problems. It is our views or opinions about the event that disturb us. We all talk to ourselves in our minds. Our self talk reflects our opinions.
Irrational Self talk such as : "He MUST NOT get angry with me. What will I do if he is angry with me? I am useless. If I had been more careful, he wouldn't have become angry."
has made the HE's anger into a catastrophic event in my life. I have lost my self esteem and have now decided to be as submissive as possible, to avert any further anger.
When my self talk is, "he MUST listen to me when I give him advice. Otherwise he is a bad man. I SHOULD teach him a lesson."
or, "I SHOULD do only what I want. If anyone thinks they can advice me I MUST NOT listen to anything that they say."
needless to say, my self talk is Irrational.
This theory or approach to life is called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) or Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT). It equips one to identify unhealthy, self destructive, irrational beliefs and replace them with healthy, constructive, rational beliefs.
All the Irrational Beliefs of the world can be categorized into these 3 archetypes.
I must do all my work perfectly. Others should praise me for it. Otherwise I am unworthy.
I do everything perfectly. Others must be kind to me and appreciate me for everything. Otherwise they are unworthy.
The elements of the world should be effortlessly attainable and benign to me. Otherwise, the element is unworthy.
Of course, not all beliefs of someone with an Irrational belief are Irrational. These archetypes are the extremes. People can possess varied degrees of these beliefs.
These beliefs could vary for different activating events. People can possess a combination of two or more of these archetypes. The Irrationality of the Belief is compounded by the awfulization of the second clause – to wit, “Otherwise I am unworthy”, “Others are unworthy”, “The task is unworthy”.
So, when the word MUST appears in your self talk, make the self talk Rational, by asking yourself this question: "Is there a law of the universe that you must be able to avoid loss of face, or discomfort?"
If your self talk has the words synonymous to AWFUL or other such catastrophising words, tell yourself "It is bad – agreed. But how does it thus become totally bad?"
If your self talk says "I can’t stand it!" , then ask "Prove that you cannot stand it. What is it that seems unbearable?"
If your self talk condemns others tell yourself "The act/event is unpalatable. But how does that make you, others/the world bad as a whole? Don’t other opinions exist?"
Well, the post got too long now...
So, I am going to close it. I only hope it helps someone and brings a smile on your face when you talk to yourself next time!
Cheers!
Radhika
From India, Madras
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Hello Gia,
Just thought your line - "Truly we cannot control what happens at least we can control our reaction (though it is difficult most of the times) but in the future I shall definitely try to practice" - actually leads me to correct your thought process... if I may be permitted.
There are TWO PARTS in this line you wrote:
1] '...we can control our reaction...'
2] '...though it is difficult most of the time...'
Suggest NEVER EVER TRY to 'control' your 'reaction' AND EVEN the thought process, which precedes any 'reaction/response'. That's the toughest part of human nature & the worst aspect of the 'human mind' - the more one tries to control his/her thoughts, the more the mind resists & this goes on & on... the most noble souls have faltered by focusing on THIS aspect of spiritual efforts - which consequently is related to the SQ that this thread is focused on.
Since you have mentioned that you practice meditation, maybe this would make sense to you: if you go through any spiritual literature, the 'core' principle that is taught is to 'let the mind be free'. One could write books on this subject...
What I meant by "WHAT happens IS NOT in YOUR hands, but HOW you ALLOW IT TO AFFECT you is absolutely in your hands" was this: shift your focus FROM the 'IMMEDIATE' TO the 'LARGER picture.
In Radhika Ashok Anand's cockroach situation/example, this is what the waiter did - he moved his focus from the cockroach itself to the 'behavior of the cockroach' - hope you get the point. Since it is the cockroach's behavior that is more important than the cockroach itself.
Had the cockroach been flying [instead of just sitting on his coat/apron], MAYBE his response would have been different [a bit more aggressive in dealing with it] which surely would STILL have been DIFFERENT from that of the others. The others REACTED while he RESPONDED - that's the only difference, but a big one. And IF he had the option/necessity, he would only CHANGE the RESPONSE rather than reacting.
Regards,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
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Just thought your line - "Truly we cannot control what happens at least we can control our reaction (though it is difficult most of the times) but in the future I shall definitely try to practice" - actually leads me to correct your thought process... if I may be permitted.
There are TWO PARTS in this line you wrote:
1] '...we can control our reaction...'
2] '...though it is difficult most of the time...'
Suggest NEVER EVER TRY to 'control' your 'reaction' AND EVEN the thought process, which precedes any 'reaction/response'. That's the toughest part of human nature & the worst aspect of the 'human mind' - the more one tries to control his/her thoughts, the more the mind resists & this goes on & on... the most noble souls have faltered by focusing on THIS aspect of spiritual efforts - which consequently is related to the SQ that this thread is focused on.
Since you have mentioned that you practice meditation, maybe this would make sense to you: if you go through any spiritual literature, the 'core' principle that is taught is to 'let the mind be free'. One could write books on this subject...
What I meant by "WHAT happens IS NOT in YOUR hands, but HOW you ALLOW IT TO AFFECT you is absolutely in your hands" was this: shift your focus FROM the 'IMMEDIATE' TO the 'LARGER picture.
In Radhika Ashok Anand's cockroach situation/example, this is what the waiter did - he moved his focus from the cockroach itself to the 'behavior of the cockroach' - hope you get the point. Since it is the cockroach's behavior that is more important than the cockroach itself.
Had the cockroach been flying [instead of just sitting on his coat/apron], MAYBE his response would have been different [a bit more aggressive in dealing with it] which surely would STILL have been DIFFERENT from that of the others. The others REACTED while he RESPONDED - that's the only difference, but a big one. And IF he had the option/necessity, he would only CHANGE the RESPONSE rather than reacting.
Regards,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
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Hi,
I really appreciate both TajSatheesh and Radhika's way of explanation. Also, TajSatheesh, there is no need to worry; we understand what you were trying to convey.
Actually, today, occupation-related stress among working people is drastically increasing worldwide. Stress at the workplace has become an integral part of everyday life. It has been noticed that workers suffering from stress exhibit decreased productivity, absenteeism, a higher number of accidents, lower morale, and greater interpersonal conflict with colleagues and superiors.
Several companies that have availed corporate training by spiritual gurus claim that working relationships and efficiency have experienced a quantum leap, which, like spirituality, is not tangible but empirical. It has been noticed that unlike usual management workshops and offsites, spiritual courses work wonders on the mind, body, and soul and have a longer-lasting effect.
There are several organizations such as Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's Art of Living, Swami Sukhabodhananda's Prasanna Trust, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev's Isha Foundation, or Yogi Ashwini's Dhyana Foundation that have entered into the corporate training zone to improve the spiritual quotient (SQ) in the workplace. Very soon, we will be seeing breathing breaks (OM) replacing cigarette breaks.
Some of the companies that have gone in for such types of training and greatly benefited are as follows: Crompton Greaves, Indraprastha Gas, Capgemini, Birla Groups, IGL, Barclays, etc.
Regards,
Anita
From India, Mumbai
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I really appreciate both TajSatheesh and Radhika's way of explanation. Also, TajSatheesh, there is no need to worry; we understand what you were trying to convey.
Actually, today, occupation-related stress among working people is drastically increasing worldwide. Stress at the workplace has become an integral part of everyday life. It has been noticed that workers suffering from stress exhibit decreased productivity, absenteeism, a higher number of accidents, lower morale, and greater interpersonal conflict with colleagues and superiors.
Several companies that have availed corporate training by spiritual gurus claim that working relationships and efficiency have experienced a quantum leap, which, like spirituality, is not tangible but empirical. It has been noticed that unlike usual management workshops and offsites, spiritual courses work wonders on the mind, body, and soul and have a longer-lasting effect.
There are several organizations such as Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's Art of Living, Swami Sukhabodhananda's Prasanna Trust, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev's Isha Foundation, or Yogi Ashwini's Dhyana Foundation that have entered into the corporate training zone to improve the spiritual quotient (SQ) in the workplace. Very soon, we will be seeing breathing breaks (OM) replacing cigarette breaks.
Some of the companies that have gone in for such types of training and greatly benefited are as follows: Crompton Greaves, Indraprastha Gas, Capgemini, Birla Groups, IGL, Barclays, etc.
Regards,
Anita
From India, Mumbai
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[QUOTE=Sharmila Das;2038853]
Dear Ms. Mugdha,
That's really nice to hear from you! Could you give us any inputs on the courses? Also, I would like to know more about the group and how many days a workshop lasts... Thanks!
I am a Pranic Healer and have learned all the meditations along with Pranic Healing techniques. Please let me know where you are located to help you understand where you can attend the Basic Pranic Healing course.
Regards,
Mugdha
From India, Hyderabad
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Dear Ms. Mugdha,
That's really nice to hear from you! Could you give us any inputs on the courses? Also, I would like to know more about the group and how many days a workshop lasts... Thanks!
I am a Pranic Healer and have learned all the meditations along with Pranic Healing techniques. Please let me know where you are located to help you understand where you can attend the Basic Pranic Healing course.
Regards,
Mugdha
From India, Hyderabad
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