Hi,
This is in relation to certain events at my work place. A person in my office had been paying a lot of attention to a colleague of mine (non- publically) and she thought he likes her.
She thought he is serious about it and tried to talk to him about it. But he conveniently made it look like she is running behind him and now has made her a practical joke of the office. It is very upsetting for her.
She has asked me for advice. I feel she should report to the HR Department and get him to stop this public humiliation.
How can she approach the HR dept. Since she is involved to some limited extent, can there be some action taken against him.
Does this come under sexual harassment act? What should be her next step as she really needs the job and can not afford to loose it.
Any help highly appreciated..
From India, Bangalore
This is in relation to certain events at my work place. A person in my office had been paying a lot of attention to a colleague of mine (non- publically) and she thought he likes her.
She thought he is serious about it and tried to talk to him about it. But he conveniently made it look like she is running behind him and now has made her a practical joke of the office. It is very upsetting for her.
She has asked me for advice. I feel she should report to the HR Department and get him to stop this public humiliation.
How can she approach the HR dept. Since she is involved to some limited extent, can there be some action taken against him.
Does this come under sexual harassment act? What should be her next step as she really needs the job and can not afford to loose it.
Any help highly appreciated..
From India, Bangalore
Hello,
Suggest ask you friend to speak to this guy--in the presence of ANOTHER person [maybe YOU]--and tell him that she has already INDICATED his actions to HR, for which she has been asked to give a written complaint.
And if the person you mentioned in this thread is YOU, suggest take along someone close to you & who you think will STAND BY YOU if & when any drastic situation arises.
Then let her 'warn/alert' him that the next time she hears of his pranks from anyone in the company, she won't hesitate to give the written complaint & let him not blame her for the consequences. I guess that should do.
There's a saying: "what one can remove with the tip of the nail, why use an axe?"--hope you got the point.
Most often, the 'fear' of being penalized is enough to keep such guys under check--rather than ACTUALLY complaining. The similarity for this situation could be had from what's going on right now in the country reg the Delhi Rape case. The FEAR of BEING GIVEN the Death penalty is much more severe--mentally & emotionally--THAN THE ACTUAL death sentence itself [even though this example is an extreme one].
All the Best.
Rgds,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
1637Suggest ask you friend to speak to this guy--in the presence of ANOTHER person [maybe YOU]--and tell him that she has already INDICATED his actions to HR, for which she has been asked to give a written complaint.
And if the person you mentioned in this thread is YOU, suggest take along someone close to you & who you think will STAND BY YOU if & when any drastic situation arises.
Then let her 'warn/alert' him that the next time she hears of his pranks from anyone in the company, she won't hesitate to give the written complaint & let him not blame her for the consequences. I guess that should do.
There's a saying: "what one can remove with the tip of the nail, why use an axe?"--hope you got the point.
Most often, the 'fear' of being penalized is enough to keep such guys under check--rather than ACTUALLY complaining. The similarity for this situation could be had from what's going on right now in the country reg the Delhi Rape case. The FEAR of BEING GIVEN the Death penalty is much more severe--mentally & emotionally--THAN THE ACTUAL death sentence itself [even though this example is an extreme one].
All the Best.
Rgds,
TS
From India, Hyderabad
Hi HR Novice,
we are hearing only a single sided story because in this your friend only got signals from the guy and THOUGHT that he likes her, for him she may just be a COLLEAGUE or FRIEND not more than that mushy gushy thing. Might be that guy became afraid that your friend likes him and one day may rape him. Because in this world not only guyz rape even gals do rape, which is very less and rarely gets noticed.
You as HR are the judge and before giving judgement listen to both parties what happened and then take a decision. It should not happen that a person is unnecessary dragged into harassment case by girl, which many girls use to get their wicked means, if any guy whom they like doesnt like them they take enimity and slap SH cases.
Am i right or am i right
KD pathak always says that jo dikhta who hota nahi hain aur jo hota hain wo dikhta nahi hain,
"What is perceived does not happen and what happens is not perceived" A rough translation in English.
Simhan
From India, Madras
we are hearing only a single sided story because in this your friend only got signals from the guy and THOUGHT that he likes her, for him she may just be a COLLEAGUE or FRIEND not more than that mushy gushy thing. Might be that guy became afraid that your friend likes him and one day may rape him. Because in this world not only guyz rape even gals do rape, which is very less and rarely gets noticed.
You as HR are the judge and before giving judgement listen to both parties what happened and then take a decision. It should not happen that a person is unnecessary dragged into harassment case by girl, which many girls use to get their wicked means, if any guy whom they like doesnt like them they take enimity and slap SH cases.
Am i right or am i right
KD pathak always says that jo dikhta who hota nahi hain aur jo hota hain wo dikhta nahi hain,
"What is perceived does not happen and what happens is not perceived" A rough translation in English.
Simhan
From India, Madras
You do have a very valid point Ravi. Let’s see how the thread initiator responds. Rgds, TS
From India, Hyderabad
From India, Hyderabad
Hi,
In such cases , take a ref a of you HR manual , have you notifird the sexual Harresment , if not mak amendment immediately .
Call to both , listen what isw reality , inspec the theread , think in all ways means their designation , age , familay background , if found faulty , turminate or ask them to put up paper , or if they are valuable to company then give them warning letter .Take apologise letter & close the matter .
& at the time of joing take a orinetation about the comapnies reules & regulation, explain the HR manual , make a social responsibilty policy ffor prevent such incidents in future
Devendra
From India, Pune
In such cases , take a ref a of you HR manual , have you notifird the sexual Harresment , if not mak amendment immediately .
Call to both , listen what isw reality , inspec the theread , think in all ways means their designation , age , familay background , if found faulty , turminate or ask them to put up paper , or if they are valuable to company then give them warning letter .Take apologise letter & close the matter .
& at the time of joing take a orinetation about the comapnies reules & regulation, explain the HR manual , make a social responsibilty policy ffor prevent such incidents in future
Devendra
From India, Pune
'Sexual harassment' is the most misunderstood and abused word now-a-days. A man talks to a woman colleague, as he talks to others, the woman colleague 'thinks' that he is in love with her. Tries to get it confirmed from him. He reads his mind. Avoids her. She persists to get confirmation. He further runs away. Onlookers make fun of this situation. She feels offended and now "thinks" that this is sexual harassment. Working women should show more maturity and also cautious in moving with their men colleagues. This is in their own interest. Such view should not be interpreted as male-chauvinism or curtailing the freedom of women.
From India, Madras
From India, Madras
Hi HrN,
Going by your descriptions it does not provide any evidence of 'harassment by him. It appears that he is interested in him. This could be an illusion. Might be your friend also inadvertently enjoy his musings because it is said generally female likes to be noticed by males whom they got attracted to. It may be wrong by saying this. Better advise her that, if she is genuinely not interested in him and he creates nuisances substantively, in your presence she can warn him stop this non-sence forthwith, as a friendly advice, failing which she would have no other go but to report to HR come what may.
kumar.s.
From India, Bangalore
Going by your descriptions it does not provide any evidence of 'harassment by him. It appears that he is interested in him. This could be an illusion. Might be your friend also inadvertently enjoy his musings because it is said generally female likes to be noticed by males whom they got attracted to. It may be wrong by saying this. Better advise her that, if she is genuinely not interested in him and he creates nuisances substantively, in your presence she can warn him stop this non-sence forthwith, as a friendly advice, failing which she would have no other go but to report to HR come what may.
kumar.s.
From India, Bangalore
WORKING PLACE HAS NO ROOM FOR ROMANCE OR PERSONAL ACTIVITIES. IT MUST BE OUT SIDE THE PREMISES. strict enquiry must be ordered and the guilty must be severely warned ..
From India, Bangalore
From India, Bangalore
I recommend that you bring this to the notice of your HR head and ask him to have an informal discussion with your colleague and the person. HR head after hearing may advise the person to desist from creating rumors going forward.
If this act continues, your colleague can raise an official complaint which attracts misconducts under sexual harassment.
From India, Chennai
If this act continues, your colleague can raise an official complaint which attracts misconducts under sexual harassment.
From India, Chennai
The best thing in this case is just to ignore totally what ever happened, and treat that guy as if he is yet another office colleague. Unless you are perturbed consistently by that guy, it is better not to take this matter to higher ups, as this will spoil both of your reputations in the office. However, if you are certain that he is misbehaving with you, (you should support your view points with strong evidence), you can complain at the appropriate forum through proper channel.
A last piece of advice : Never ever think that a guy moving nicely with you in office, means that he has something up in his heart for you....
Keep your soft and romantic feelings outside your office..
Best of luck..
From India, Mumbai
A last piece of advice : Never ever think that a guy moving nicely with you in office, means that he has something up in his heart for you....
Keep your soft and romantic feelings outside your office..
Best of luck..
From India, Mumbai
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