BAD REPORT CARD
A father passing by his son's bedroom was
astonishedto see the bed was nicely made and everything
was picked up.Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently
on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad".
With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
"Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm
writing you.I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes.
But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant
And Joan said that we will be very happy.
Even though you don't care for her as she is so
Much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the
Woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
She wants to have many more children with me and
that's now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading
it with her friends for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want!
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find
A cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure
deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know
how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure
we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son, John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true.
I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to
remind you that there are worse things in life
than my report card that's in my desk center drawer.
I love you!
Call when it is safe for me to come home."
From India, Bangalore
20A father passing by his son's bedroom was
astonishedto see the bed was nicely made and everything
was picked up.Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently
on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad".
With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
"Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm
writing you.I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes.
But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant
And Joan said that we will be very happy.
Even though you don't care for her as she is so
Much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the
Woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
She wants to have many more children with me and
that's now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading
it with her friends for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want!
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find
A cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure
deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know
how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure
we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son, John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true.
I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to
remind you that there are worse things in life
than my report card that's in my desk center drawer.
I love you!
Call when it is safe for me to come home."
From India, Bangalore
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