L – I – S – T – E – N - I - N - G

Hi Folks,

Came across this lovely article and would like to share it with you all..

In any walk of life, whatever the professiona you practice, if you

are human being, because God gave youthe power of listening,

understanding and responding (orally or written), unlike any other

living being on the planet. Then it becomes vital that we develop

this habit called L – I – S – T – E – N - I - N - G

Poor listening habits account for a large percentage of communication

breakdowns.



To Avoid Communication Breakdown L – I – S – T – E – N ..

How many times have you found yourself saying "You never told me?"

Avoid these bad habits and develop your listening skills. Listening

is a skill that can be improved with practice, practice, and more

practice.

If you want to listen so you really HEAR what others say, make sure

you're not a:

Responder - Rehearser:

You mentally prepare for "Here's what I'll say next" and subsequently

tune out what else is being said.

Evaluator - Judger:

The burden of listening is on the listener. Don't automatically

condemn a speaker or the subject as uninteresting; don't prejudice

your listening because you don't like the speaker's looks, hairdo,

and voice and so on.

Un-Conscious - Daydreamer:

You have that "deer in the headlights look" leading to an

embarrassing "What did you say?" or "Could you repeat that?"

Imposter - Placater:

Agreeing with everything you hear just to be nice or to avoid

conflict does not mean you're a good listener.

Deralier - Changer:

You change the subject so quickly that the speaker believes you're

not interested in what he/she has to say.

Chooser - Selector:

You filter out what you don't what to hear.

Rigid - Defender:

You don't hear all of what someone has to say because a single

comment made by the speaker has upset you.

Actor - Faker:

Don't pretend to be getting the message while your mind has made a

mental detour and is busy with completely different ideas. If the

speaker tries to interact with you at this point, you'll find

yourself completely lost.

If only your listening skills improve you will fidn that the rate at

which your career will "ZOOM" will surprise you too.

Happy L – I – S – T – E – N - I - N - G

Cheerio

Rajat Joshi

Dear Rajat,
This is a very good article. The best part is that you gave me a good followup from an external training our company conducted last month on leadership.
As the article mentioned, LISTENING is a very important skill. Nearly all the partcipant were most attentive during this session of the training, as they all agreed that it is the 1 skill that they need improvement on. Just FYI, the all the participants were Sections Heads and Managers.
Just like to mention, that Listening is not only vital in our workplace, but in our daily lives. Can you imagine the quality of life, if we only apply what we learn and truly practice it ourselves both in the workplace and at home? Priceless.
Thanks again.
and to CITEHR keep up the good work. This is a very informative website. :D
Regards
Noel

Hi Rajat,

The article you shared is definitely of great value. We, all of us for that matter, have had years and years learning how to read and write... beginning from when we were about three years old thereabouts. But come to think of it, THERE WAS NEVER A FORMAL ACADEMIC SUBJECT CALLED "LISTENING", like there is something called wRITING, or READING, or aRITHMETIC!

As training consultants, all of the training workshops we conduct for our clients are values based, and one big module is what we call 100% listening. For the last eight years that we have been doing this, there is consistency in the feedback we get: "How I wish we had practised this (listening) more before." Truly, this is not something for the work side alone. One reason most. if not all. work is because of love for the family, or some other relations. And listening is something most important. And just for some thought, there was this study made in the US, I believe, where it was found out that on the average, the length of time husband and wife talk heart to heart is ONLY 2 MINUTES A DAY!!! :oops: Could you believe that? How's that for some thought process?

Have a good day everyone![/i]

Thanks Noel & Coach!! for your feedback and comments indeed we need to listen more than we talk..may be that's why GOD gave us two Ears and One Mouth!!!
Come to think it ...if people actually listened rather than listening to themselves ..half of the problems would be easily solved!!
Cheerio
Rajat

Hi Rajat,
Your artical is excellent. But I have one query - Is there any difference between " Listening" and "Hearing"?
Regards
Swapna

I came across this very nice article from Ms. Gigi Resurreccion of The Mentor Group(Philippines):

Listening with my Eyes

A powerful lesson in communication taught by my own son...

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August 5 , 2004, Manila --- This story happened over a year and a half ago. I have published this article in various newsletters and have made this a reference for my listening activities during my programs. For you, our valued clients, I wish to impart this message: Every experience is a learning experience. Let us savor every moment and reflect what lessons are being taught.

My little boy Jolo, who just turned six, is in his usual chattering mood. Coming home from the office with plenty of work left unfinished, I was busy jotting down my notes for the following day.

“Ma, do you have one thousand pesos?” my little boy asked.

“Yes, I do. Why do you need one thousand pesos?” I inquired without looking up.

“Maaa….”, his voice getting noticeably higher, “that’s how much an original Beyblade cost.”

“Hmm… why do you need an original Beyblade? You have so many Beyblades, remember?” I glanced at him momentarily, and then continued to write my notes. “Tita Tita and Tita Ellen gave you two sets of Beyblades for your birthday. Yaya (Nanny) Nene bought you one as well from the palengke (market), di ba anak (right, son?)?” I reminded him.

“Maaa…” I can sense he was getting frustrated. “Hindi original yun kaya laging talo. Yung original, maganda kasi matibay” he chattered on. (It's not original that is why I get beaten. The original is better because its sturdy.)

“Uhumm”, I wasn’t really listening as I was getting engrossed with my notes.

“Last week, naglaro kami ni Lancy tapos, boom! Natalo ko yung Beyblade nya. Then Ma, nilabas niya yung original. Very beautiful Ma! Next week, maglalaban uli Beyblade namin” he was visibly getting excited. “Yung classmate ko, Ma, he has a Beyblade too. Sabi niya, original daw iyon…” he went on and on and on, pretty much like the Energizer commercial on TV. (Last week, Lancy and I played with each other, then, Boom, his Beyblade lost.Then, he brought out his original Beyblade. Itw as very beautiful!Next week, our Beyblades will fight again. My classmate said he has an original Beyblade too...)

I was pretending to listen to him by using genuinely fake responses such as Uhumm, Talaga? (Really?)And Wow! intermingled with some nodding of my head and periodic glances. I have to block his chatter so that I can concentrate on my notes. He must have been chattering for some time when suddenly I heard him say.

“Ma, you’re not listening!” he shrieked.

“I am, anak” I glanced up at him, then continued” Sige, anak, tell me what happened” I added hastily.

“Maaa…, listen naman to me with your eyes!” he said firmly.

I froze. That was a wow moment for me. Listen to me with your eyes….

It made me ponder. Was I working to make a living or was I living my life to work? Aren’t all my efforts dedicated to give my children a better life? Why can’t I appreciate his chatter? Why can’t I listen with my eyes?

Pause for a moment and ponder. When we carry on with our conversations, do we genuinely care what our peers, our bosses, our customers have to say? Do we really know the purpose of why we are there? How can we truly serve our customers if we can't listen with our eyes?

Hi,
S U r right. Eye Contact is one of the best ways of a good communication.
Regards
Swapna

Yup ... Eye Contact is a critical requirement of face to face communication.
A significant part of the non-verbal communiation takes place through eye contact. In a face to face communication, we rely heavily on eye contact to get the critical feedback regarding our communiation.
Whether the other person has understood what we have said. Does he/she believe in what we said. Id he/she interested etc .... the feedback to all such questions is obtained through eye contact.
Thanks Thelma for shring the article with us .... It was really good ...

Dear friends,

Namaskar.



I read your posts on listening. No doubt listening and talking are the most important modes of communicating. The purpose again no doubt is to achieve the objective of communication. But to one reason or other some people become very talkative and you will have to find a way out to achieve the objective with time in your hand. I am giving one such illustration.

1. There was a boy of around 18. He had chronic and severe problem of obsession. He had crossed two hospitals without any relief. In the third, I had a friend and after some months he asked the boy to meet me informally. I used to take such problems free of charges to keep my acumen sharp. The boy came with his father and the problems were listed. The father was almost in breaking point but after listing the problems I gave a smile to the father saying "No problem".

In each meeting with the boybefore parting the he had to ask me any five questions he liked. Meeting after meeting gradually his questions were arounded around two questions:

A. Jab ladke aur ladkinyan so jate hain kya unki ankhen khula rahati hai ya band rahti hai?

B. Jab ladke aur ladkiyan so jate hain kya unko dikhai deti hai ya nahin?

Every time he asked I had to answer and this went for months. What could you have done?

You can find some such colleagues who would be searching gossip partners as if they are suffering from verbal diarrhea? What do you do?

Regards,

Jogeshwar.

Namaskar.
So friends! here are three principles of conversation.
1.Be not masochist while listening.
2.Be ont sadist while talking.
3.Never lose sight of the objective.Be appropriate.
Regards,
jogeshwar.