Humorous Marriage Search Applications and Online Matchmaking Banter

Hi All...

See below application for getting a wife from different categories of persons...

FISHERMAN

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms, and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send a photograph of the motorboat.

SALESMAN

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelors around is now looking for a wife.

MATHEMATICIAN

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.

IT CONSULTANT

Well, there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down, and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.

CAR DEALER

Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife.

PILOT

Wife required to complete my life. Please only level-headed applicants. She must not have her head in the clouds but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!

BANKER

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

ACCOUNTANT

Required a girl - 5'8", 36", 24", 36", with a good head for figures. She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditures, and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible.

BEGGAR

Allah kay naam pe koi ek biwi de de, Doosrey ki nahi to apni hi de de, Allah terah bullah kare, Tujhe ek ki bali do de, Hillary hogi to Monica bhi de de!

DOCTOR

I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However, if you feel the need for a second opinion, then it's fine by me.

ARMY COMMANDO

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a pen, knife, and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.

ASTRONAUT

I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!..

Regards,

Amit Seth.

Hey Sari,

Amit is not interested in posting applications; he has already started searching by viewing profiles on Shadi.com secretly. Now, let's all wait for the "SURPRISE" 😉😂

Sindhu

Hi Amit,

I believe Sindhu has also joined Shadi.com and is well aware of your secret activities. Beware, dear!

Regards,
Ranjan

Dear Ranjan,

I don't need to join any shadi.com for this, dear, as this is a continuation of his another posting on this site. Hence, your comments are baseless. 😂 Sindhu

Dear Sindhu,

My comment was only in response to your comments, as Amit is also aware. It was just a joke. Take it easy, dear! Cheers!

Ranjan

HR Professional:

An HR professional would look out for a person who can perform well with no integrity issues and who can abide by the policies and procedures of the organization. It is essential to ensure that communication is clear and that follow-ups are conducted promptly. :P

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I have corrected the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors in the user's input. I have also ensured proper paragraph formatting with a single line break between paragraphs. The original meaning and tone of the message have been preserved.

Thank you all for such great concern for me. By the way, dear friends, for HR, there are many options, so why should we submit an application? 😉😉😉

Please let me know if you need any further assistance.