Hello Nisha
After seeing the good and bad of the other side (the old employee), let us see what is there on your side since you are the key person who has to deal with the situation and it is necessary that you need to equip yourself with required skills to do it. There is an old saying that who conquers himself, can conquer the world. In other words what does it mean is he/she who controls himself, can control others. Thus self-management is the key while it comes to managing difficult people, because they play up on your emotions and cause hurt to you. In many cases we, do not deal with our charged emotions and hurt in the manner it should be dealt with and instead allow ourselves to be swept by them and tend to react to them. This may make us go in search of solutions that may not really answer our problems.
Then how to deal with ones’ emotions and hurt properly?
This starts with understanding others feelings and acceptance that we can neither change nor control certain facts in life..
1) In the instant case, the facts over which we have no control are :
a)The modern work place is a mixed work place of old generation, the generation X and the generation Y and thus this kind of conflict of generation may be a feature of them. Even if you switch to a new job, there is no guarantee that it does not have an old senior employee to be again dealt with..
b) If you replace him, will there be a guarantee that the new hire will be better than the old one? Some times I came across people saying after replacements that “ a known devil is better than an unknown angel”. What if the new hire though may be very good mannered but not as much technically skilled as the old one. In the instant case, atleast you know as to what he is good at.
c) Now coming to self management, I observe certain statements made by you in your reply post to learned member Atul Sharma of learning novo which are :
“In my company for every rule or every harsh email, employees are blaming HR, it seems they have personal grudges against me. I don't like their behavior. It's my work obviously I've to do this.”
Yes, I appreciate that you firmly believed that it is your job to frame rules and policies. A late comer does not like to be told to come on time. You can not frame a rule seeking his permission to please him. Therefore as HR, please accept that you cannot or need not please every one and at the same not all will be scoffing at you. There will be some disciplined who admire your initiatives..Even Buddha got resistance for his philosophy but he pursued in what he believed. When you are sure that rules are meant for the interests of the organization, you need not pay any attention to others comments. In fact it is the indication that your policies are having a desired affect on the employees. Therefore smile and do not get perturbed by the criticism of some or the few. Accept that bouquets and brickbats are part of professional life of HR and every HR goes through it. Accept that it is normal.
However one suggestion here. As HR keep yourself open to suggestions though it is not mandatory to follow every suggestion that is given as you should also be able to sell your HR initiatives to your internal customers who are the employees and departmental heads. Therefore listen to them. It has two advantages i) they feel happy that their voice is heard and that you are not arbitrary ii) if the suggestions have merit, you can adopt them in the rules so that they will have wider acceptance and reduce opposition.
Therefore check your e-mails and see whether they are really couched in harsh language. Some times, in our eagerness to emphasize the importance of compliances with rules/ procedures, we may unknowingly use strong language though in good faith. What an official communication needs is an assertive language but not an aggressive language which may be offending to others. You can check the mails to see whether the communications require any modifications. If so, do not hesitate to modify. This will have a positive affect on the employees. and win them on your side.
Another statement about the old employee is :
“Not good in professional communication: Arrange some one-on-one coaching for him: I mentioned that he doesn't want to listen any negative or shortcoming about him. Acc to him he is best, company can not run without him.”
Probably a fresher may accept a remark of your’s about his professional communication and be willing to accept suggestions for improvement but not a veteran like the old employee. So you should not repeat it. I do not envisage any prospect of coaching or training in communication will bring any change in his communication nor will he be cooperative. At the same time I visualize that it is not easy to replace him since he is the favourite of the director which usually such old employees are. Secondly there is a risk of director getting annoyed , if the new hire turns bad from work point of view. Therefore you need to take a practical view which can be :.
1) Since he is sound technically and handles projects alone well, you can allot him to such projects after taking your directors into confidence. This will also minimize his interaction with others.
2) Be professional. These are challenges for HR in modern work places..Managing generation diversity is a modern HR skill. Therefore view it as a skill development opportunity but do not take any thing to head or heart since every thing happens in the sphere of office but not in your personal domain.
Finally I conclude with a wonderful solo conversation which I read some where but which bestows on us immense power to deal with hardships in life.
“ I asked for strength, but God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom but God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for courage but God gave me the risks to overcame.
Thus I have not received what I wanted
But I received what all I needed”
In all probability, this work place will be a training ground for you to hone your skills in managing workplace diversity and interpersonal relations
Hope this helps All the best.
B.Saikumar
In-House HR & IR Advisor