Long Professional Relationship With Boss Resulting In Harassment

Hi Guys, Myself Steven.

I am working as AVP in Mumbai based software company.

I am working with the same Boss from last 6 years. I am with him in last 3 companies.

Now due to long relationship he has started taking me for granted.
Some of the important points I am narrating below:

1. No exposure to senior management
I am in current company since last 3 years and all the 3 years he has stopped me from interacting with the senior management of the company. Whatever I am doing as my job role; He shows top bosses as he has done the same. He stops me from talking & mailing them. He manages region & I am handling location but he stops me from interacting with my counterparts as well at location level.

2. Harassment assuming he is the Godfather for me
Due to long relationship he has started taking me for granted, he harasses me like anything. No leaves, No saturday offs, Unnecessary work pressure. The way he inetacts with me & my counterparts is totally different where in he insults me infront of my counterparts & team mates. He thinks I dont have option otherthan him.

3. Dual reporting problem
Due to structure change now I am reporting to 2 bosses (Old one & new One (Business Head)). Actually my Old boss is VP & New Boss is SVP. Old boss stops me from interacting, sharing data, coordinating with him. Due to which new boss thinks I am bit reserved towards him. He tells me dont interact with him as I have done everything here for 3 years and this guy is trying to take the credit where as on other hand he himself interacts with him and shows him picture that he is doing everything in my location.

4. No decision making powers
He has not given me any decision making powers so far. Whenever any approval of my level comes in; He stops me from making decision with reason of lack of experience for the same.

#Some important points:
1. He has given me growth from officer to AVP but I think its due to my hard work otherwise noone likes to carry non performing employees with them from one to other organization.
2. New boss is totally different; He is open to my ideas; willing to share problems; never stops me from interacting with seniors; no harassment for working on saturdays.

BASED ON ALL ABOVE ISSUES I THINK IF I STAY WITH THIS BOSS; I WILL NOT GROW. I WILL NOT GET EXPOSURE. THERE WILL NOT BE SELF IDENTITY FOR ME IF I KEEP ON MOVING WITH HIM.

Please suggest as your suggestions will help in taking decision.

Thanks & Regards
Steven Marks

Loyalty to one bloke does not pay always, though it does sometimes. That's what happens when you move wherever your boss goes and he gets you promotion. You need to assess the situation to see what are the repurcussions of ignoring his demands and reporting direct to the other boss.
have a nice day.
Simhan
A retired academic in the UK

Hi Steven Marks,
Sometimes such bosses instead of becoming mentors start looking at their protege as competitor and the insecurity penetrates which is the end of the road in such cases, neither you nor that fellow will develop in this relationship then.
The solution is mentioned in your post itself..
"BASED ON ALL ABOVE ISSUES I THINK IF I STAY WITH THIS BOSS; I WILL NOT GROW. I WILL NOT GET EXPOSURE. THERE WILL NOT BE SELF IDENTITY FOR ME IF I KEEP ON MOVING WITH HIM."
Also, Please ensure whether the hard time you are subjected to is for a personality lapse in your boss and not a genuine correction of blunders made by you in past....
all the best...
Regards,

Mr. Steven,
For every relationship we must keep distence, working under same boss is not a all problem attitude must be the problem. Your boss may feels insecurity just because of your efficient work. Discuss with your boss regarding this issue and share your opinions / expection openly. Self respect is always important for any relationship.
Share all your thoughts with your New boss but should not ignore your old boss.
I wish your Old boss understand you soon.
Wishing you all Success ....................
Regards,
Sudarsan

Hi steven,
I can understand what are you going thru, as i have also faced the same situation in my previous org.
Always remember - till date whatever promotions, increments, rise you have got is solely based on your performance.
You only have to do couple of things : 1) Communicate it very clearly to your old boss thru your behaviour that you need some space and he should not micro manage you.
2) discuss this issue with your new boss (only if you think he can be trusted) and gain his confidence.
3) start communicating with all your peers freely, if your old boss objects, clearly ask him to explain the reason for putting boundaries around you.
Nudge him once or twice and he will understand that he cannot take you for granted...
Regards
Anuradha

Dear Mr. Steven,

This is with reference to your posting regarding your relationship problem with your Boss/ Mentor (if he has been instrumental in your grooming in 3 org.).

My two cents...

You have two choices to make:

Option 1. The easiest is to find a new job, though we need to remember "You cannot choose your boss" and the next Organisation may give you a one who may be worse.

In the current market, the opportunities are many and you may have a lot of options to choose from, depending on your profile. Probably, attending a few interviews may give more insight on the opportunities and also a chance to analyse if your current assignment is good or making the move will be fruitful.

Option 2. Though tough, but may give great results if it works. Sometimes a mentor who has been grooming for a long time get into the Parenting mode, which sometime leaves us gasping for space.

However, a long chat with your boss during a weekend regarding your progress and the challenges you are facing, may give an excellent opportunity for you to open up and also will give you a chance to understand his point of view.

After you speak to him, you may be able to decide on further course of action. Anyways the Option 1 is always there for you, at any point in time.

Hope you will be able to choose the best for your professional and personal growth.

Best Wishes!

Reena G S

Hi Steven Marks,

Please note that each individual has some kind of plus and minuses, even thinking and temperment varies from inidvidual to indiviudal, the plus point about your present boss is provided elevation from an officer to AVP position and this is very bing acheivement could happen to any one.

You need to analyse the situtional factor causing the disagreement between you and your immediate boss, the only solution is to have a discussion with him and reslove the issues and resigning the job is not the solution.

I would also like to suggest always do not assume things, that thre will be no growth working with such kind of bosses, your growth depends upon your performance in understanding your job and executing the same within the given time frame.

Finally, I would like to suggest please sit and analyse your strengths and weaknesses and try to correct the loose end, there the success lies. Instead of complaining please takes things in a positive way, because every individual will be bound to have ups and downs in life and time alone is the healing factor.

Regds

Hi Steven
Looking for a new job that allows you furthr growth away from your comfort levels is alwaysnq good idea.
However, here already you have an opportunity to work with a new boss. You need to see if you can work with him imdependently. One way is to start sharing information with him as a part of your reporting process. Perhaps you can ask him for advice when you need to take decisions. But if your decisions are negated, then you need to infirm your new boss that your old boss decided otherwise (so he is not upset at your ignoring his advice)
You will have to Tred carefully. A 6 year loyalty from someone who groomed you for growth is not something to be casually discarded.
Of you do leave, I would suggest that you part on good terms with your bosses.