1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don't you know, I sell tickets in black over here.
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia... why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good?
Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: Well, you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout... it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: No, I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping... you dumb-witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: Hey, have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, it's autumn and I'm shedding...
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No, it won't. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.
Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle... it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!! 😂😂😂😂😂
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don't you know, I sell tickets in black over here.
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia... why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good?
Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: Well, you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout... it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: No, I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping... you dumb-witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: Hey, have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, it's autumn and I'm shedding...
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No, it won't. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.
Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle... it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!! 😂😂😂😂😂