Hi Sohini,
As far as I can understand from your statement, "so gave a notice to all and from that all obeyed my order." If your notice has gone in a manner of order, it might affect in a negative pattern. Also, if an employee is absent due to some justifiable reason, you should allow them to do so. Asking any employee not to take their rightful leave and come back to the office will annoy anyone. I'm not saying that you have to give them or not to give them the freedom, but at the same time, please be in the professional mode and see if a person doesn't follow the rules, they have to suffer as per the policies of the organization. If you have a policy where 3-4 latecomings result in half/full day salary deduction, then let her salary get deducted. Why do you have to go to her every time and tell her what should and shouldn't be done? Also, if you are getting issues from her project manager, then you can issue her a warning letter... and 2 warning letters anyway result in termination.
The situation here has already gone out of control as the girl is annoyed totally, and you are taking things personally. Take it as a challenge and try to be a little more understanding towards her as per her social and economical background and convince her that you are her friend. But if still things don't work... issue her a notice, ask for improvement in 15 days, and if no improvement is seen... terminate her.
I would also like to say that one should understand the difference between the authoritarian mode and the professional mode. Being a Senior Person in HR would certainly not mean that they can pressurize people to do what they think is right. Although I personally don't feel it's right to be very finicky about the "in-time"... One should only be alarmed if the employees become irresponsible towards their work. Which only their respective managers can tell... Coming late or coming on time doesn't mean efficiency...
I don't know how many HR Managers would agree (HR with Indian Companies would disagree while working with MNC's would agree since there is freedom in MNC's regarding flexibility in timings).
Thanks!!
Regards,
Dhoop