Dear ABC8708,
In all your posts, I don't think you have managed to narrate your actual grievance!
Your initial question was: "How to deal with lady HR boss?"
Firstly it seems gender biased, but you are saying it is not! Then you are saying she is highly qualified, well acknowledged in the firm, handling the responsibilities well, but may have egoestic/stubborn approach, & might have crucified some of her employees to cope up with some HR issues.
As per my understanding; You do not approve this behavior from your boss any way, But your grievance slightly differs, considering her being a lady. You are ready to give some allowances for this fact that she may had to act more strictly, being in a male dominated world.
Then tell me……
In day to day interactions, Would you have reacted differently to your boss, if your boss was a gentleman, with same ego, attitude & background?
In day to day interactions with your employees, as a HR representative, do you behave differently towards lady/gentleman employees?
Please retrospect your quotes in earlier posts & answer these questions. If the answer to both the questions come as "No", then we can proceed ahead!
A person's general nature / their own life issues / their ambitions & their ability to use politics at work CANNOT be changed by the HR. That’s not the function of HR.
You may have known/heard the issues in her life, but please accept that, as HR you cannot solve them.
It’s a different thing, if you are friends & want to help, go ahead, ......but then you wouldn’t have faced the original question.
If her approach is not hampering the department / organization, then you have to accept her as is & have to learn the real reasons behind some of the decisions made. If her approach is really hampering the department, then you can surely report to higher management, but you have to be very sure (with statistics) about that!
In my opinion, best way to deal with such persons is to:
1. Be clear in all communications. Don’t assume anything. Don’t keep anything verbal/ambiguous.
2. Keep the communication both ways. Don’t just listen, also react.
3. Be professional & keep the interactions to minimum as required.
4. Share the same goal for organizational benefit, when working together.
5. If you still cannot take it, work towards moving the boss out of the organization/equation, or moving yourself out of the organization… (just kidding…. :-)
Best Regards,
Amod.