Office Humour (officially Jokes Only) - PPT Download

Why Office Staff Tired?
Ever wonder why office staff are always dead tired by the end of the day and companies require no further physical fitness programmes for their employees ??? REASONS BEING... Everyone gets enough exercise:
Jumping to conclusion
Beating around the bush
Running down the boss
Going around the circles
Dragging their feet
Passing the buck
Climbing the ladder
Wading through paperwork
Pulling strings
Throwing their weight around
Stretching the truth
Bending the rules, and
Pushing their luck
No wonder they are all tired at the end of a working day!!!!

wt do u mean? explain....
n im glad u liked my post
do post some ... lookin fwd to it
hey ajmal...
looks like u hav a treasure chest of jokes on office.....
n they r really funny...... was laughin really hard on the veer zaara wala....amazing
keep it up

Hi $uN@yN@

This time got you name correct... right .....

Actually, my classmates send it to me on yahoogroups... i pickup the one, i think would fit it in this thread and post...

Here is a one from Marketing Class....

__________________________________________________ ____

A definition of marketing that makes sense...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm very rich, marry me."

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He is very rich, marry him"

That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I am very rich, marry me"

That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I am very rich, marry me."

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear that you're a fantastic guy, marry me"

That's Brand Recognition.

yes
you've got it right :wink:
and you won't believe this.... but our marketing prof used the same examples while teaching us.
i still remember them
he taught us this in the first sem
oh..good source
do keep posting

Bhaiya Seenivasan! (I said Brother Seenivasan)
When ever Chaudhry sahib reads this topic he will kick you from IIPM for two reasons
1) MOVIE IS "rok sako to rok lo" and not rok "saka" "tho" rok lo
2) you misspelled his name arindham chaudry (real name : Arindam Chaudhry)
Handle with care! just for fun!, don't mind :)

Hi $uN@yN@
Yes, the examples are quite old and famous.... but perfect.....
Some more, this time on Accountants... [by the way, I have donemy Bachelor's in commerce]
__________________________________________________ __________
How do you know someone is an accounting major?
1. Their left arm is longer than their right arm from carrying their "Accounting Policy" notebook.
2. Their idea of a hot date is discussing the implementation details of accounting standards.
3. Their idea of having fun is making up jokes about MBA students.
4. They write notes to their "sweetheart" on 8-column paper.
5. When asked what time it is, they respond: 10:25 a.m. and 32 seconds; no... 34 seconds, no... 36 seconds, no....
6. They have an inferiority complex, they always feel "depreciated".
7. They try to open a "T" account at the local bank.
8. They arrange their wardrobe by color.

The Performance Appraisal

John Jones, the head of the company asked his manager to write a detailed employment review describing Bob Smith, one of his programmers.

1... Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found

2...hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without

3... wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never

4... thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

5... finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended

6... measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

7... breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

8... vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

9... knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be

10.. classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be

11.. dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be

12.. promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

13.. executed as soon as possible.

Signed ...

Jim

A MEMO WAS SOON SENT, FOLLOWING THE INITIAL LETTER:

John,

That idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today.

Kindly read only the odd numbered lines above (1, 3, 5, etc...) for my true assessment of him.

Regards ...

Jim"

Thanks for the Encouragement
Office Inspirational Posters:
1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.
7. Plagarism saves time.
8. If at first you don't succeed, try management.
9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
10. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

Labor or Hard Labor.....

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8'x 10' cell.

At work you spend most of your time in a 6'x 8'cubicle.

In prison you get three meals a day.

At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

In prison you get time off for good behavior.

At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

In prison you can watch TV and play games.

At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.

At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.

At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

In prison you spend most of your life looking through the bars from the inside wanting to get out.

At work you spend your time wanting to get out and inside bars.

In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time.

At work there are some programs you can never get out of.

In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic.

At work we have managers.

:) Hi Ajmal .. Great posts ..
I have got this one .. not exactly a joke .. still ...
" In the confines of cubicles by artificial light,
Sipping coffee from the machines day and night.
Speaking on phones, in meetings we sit.
Staring at the monitor, the keyboard(s) we hit.
Far away from loved ones whom for days we do not meet.
Remembering them, working, on our seat.
This is life for us,
Working away from homes and loved ones in places afar.
What a life, HR guys we are !!! "
Regards,
Thesysthink :)