Director Annoyed And Wants To Quit - His Wife's Birthday Party Wasn't The Same As His

Hi Prachi Jain,

This is kind of amusing to me. The Director should divorce himself from personal preferences and professional preferences. This Director is very dangerous in the sense that he is mixing personal feelings with professional ethics. I am sure in the future, there is a possibility that his decisions will be biased towards his wife when it comes to promotions, bonuses, etc. This is a pure colonial way of thinking rather than a professional way of thinking. Maybe your company should have a code of ethics to manage either the "Birthday Celebrations" or "Marrying Subordinates," or should identify these things as "Soliciting" in the Employee code of conduct or ethics.

This is a very serious situation. Remember what happened with someone in the IMF having a girlfriend, and he promoted her based on his personal preferences? The same goes for Bloomberg; he promoted his girlfriend in the NY City Corporation purely because she is his girlfriend.

Stay blessed.

Hepzi Leon Soon

Hi,

This shows how immature and undeserving the 'top' can be. Whose birthday was it anyway? The employee's birthday or the boss's wife's birthday? If one cannot differentiate between the two and has unrealistic expectations, God save the company from such people.

Cyril

Dear Prachi,

I think you have done the right thing. Celebration of birthdays of employees is a company welfare activity and the general public is involved. Though she is the director's wife, first, she is an employee of this company. She has to be treated accordingly, and as an employee, they have to respect the company's policy. Otherwise, it will be personal favoritism, and the general public will be affected. A person sitting at the director level should understand this in the very first place. This matter is directly related to the culture of the company. In my opinion, you should put things straight forward in front of the director and convey the message that it is a professional decision and should not be mingled with personal relations. I think directors are role models and carry forward the culture of the company. If he carries such kind of attitude, then leave the decision up to him.

Regards,
Deepak

Hi Prachi,

I think the senior person at the Director level has found a better or more rewarding opportunity and is just using this as an excuse to leave the company. Therefore, it is better for the top brass to ask him to understand the realities of the company's policies or take his call. If he is encouraged, do not be surprised if he asks the company to provide his wife with the same salary and benefits that he is entitled to as a director. The company must stand firm, and such demands from a person at the director level must never be encouraged.

Thanks, Dayaram

Hi, Please ask him to compare the birthday celebrations while he was in an entry-level position and what he is currently receiving at the senior level. It's always better if you celebrate birthdays for all levels in an equal manner to avoid these kinds of issues.

Regards,
Koshy

Hi Prachi,

I understand the dilemma you are in, but I believe that if you budge to the director's whim right now, it will demoralize the junior team.

I am sure you have tried all the tricks in the book to convince him. Why don't you change the policy and make the celebrations similar at all levels? It means either cutting down something from senior management's side or upgrading the junior-level celebration. Can your team convince the management for this change?

Please let us know finally what the decision was.

Regards

Hi Prachi,

Someone senior in the organization needs to tell him that he needs to understand to draw a line between personal and professional behavior. In the office, the lady is another employee and not his wife. Did he raise such an issue for any other entry-level employee in the last 7 years? He may be a good employee technically, but he needs to learn behavioral skills as well. If he still does not get convinced, he may have an ulterior motive.

Best wishes,
Robbert

Dear All,

I have one more point to consider: what if the wife has pushed the efficient man in a situation like this (with all due respect)? As you are saying she is at a junior level, chances are very high she is young and less experienced and must have expressed her views to her husband.

You also need to check what her opinion is on this situation. Maybe a few things can be linked.

Comments!!

Nirupama

Hi,

I don't think I am capable enough to give a proper solution to this problem, but I think you should be talking to his wife about this. You had mentioned that this person is an efficient and effective resource in your company. I don't understand why he could be so silly and behave like a kid. It looks like soon after his wife's birthday celebration, she would have started eating his head as to why her birthday was not given so much importance. Ego between the two would have cropped up. So talk to his wife and tell her that both of them are capable, and the company wouldn't want to lose them just for this reason. She might understand, and maybe she would be of help. Please ensure that you tell very good things about her. To me, it looks like the wife of this Bachaa is prompting him to do/talk so. I am not too sure if this may work out. Anyways, give it a try.

Thanks,
Hari

It is quite a strange case where a director himself is acting like a beginner. Since he is a director, he will be heading your department/division. In such a case, how can you convince or counsel him? What is his age? If he attained this position at a young age, then you can take the privilege to talk to him. Try once.

If he has made up his mind to quit, why worry about him? As he is mature enough to make decisions, let him. His decision will not harm either your division or your company. Such narrow-minded persons can destroy the entire atmosphere.

I strongly feel it is not a major issue. He is mocking himself and degrading his wife. Let him be. You need not worry unless he starts taking revenge on subordinates.

Since you are concerned for him, you can talk to his wife and explain the situation to enable her to convince or counsel him.