Dear All,
Both the husband and wife are working in the same organization. They both have a good track record of working in this organization. However, they are in different departments and often need to interact with their colleagues. Recently, the wife has been facing issues from her husband, as he does not want her to interact with male colleagues. This restriction is making it challenging for her to effectively carry out her job responsibilities.
It is worth noting that the husband appears professional and interacts well with other staff members. Despite this, the situation at home is affecting the wife's work environment. Previous attempts at counseling have not resolved the issue and may have even led to further complications.
In this scenario, what actions can HR take to address the situation appropriately? The current dynamic is creating a difficult work environment for the female employee. It is essential to find a solution that respects both individuals' professional roles and personal boundaries.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Both the husband and wife are working in the same organization. They both have a good track record of working in this organization. However, they are in different departments and often need to interact with their colleagues. Recently, the wife has been facing issues from her husband, as he does not want her to interact with male colleagues. This restriction is making it challenging for her to effectively carry out her job responsibilities.
It is worth noting that the husband appears professional and interacts well with other staff members. Despite this, the situation at home is affecting the wife's work environment. Previous attempts at counseling have not resolved the issue and may have even led to further complications.
In this scenario, what actions can HR take to address the situation appropriately? The current dynamic is creating a difficult work environment for the female employee. It is essential to find a solution that respects both individuals' professional roles and personal boundaries.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Yes ,Both Husband & Wife can work in same organisation & depend on comany internal policy. R/d Jitendra Tomar
From India, Ghaziabad
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7From India, Ghaziabad
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Rajesh what kind of counselling you have given is it emotional or relationship counselling if you give emotional it will workout raj
From India, Coimbatore
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From India, Coimbatore
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After going through your post, I personally feel that her husband wants her not to interact with a particular male employee (It's not with all the male employees). Please check on the same. If possible, bring that lady in to find out what exactly is the issue between them because of which she has an impact on her professional life. Otherwise, talk to someone to whom she is really close to gather some info. Maybe you can get a clear idea of how to resolve this issue.
From India, Madras
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From India, Madras
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Dear Kamal Amrohi,
Sorry to hear about a situation like this. Have you had a counseling session with the mentioned lady employee, or was that feedback given by another counselor?
Could you please state when this problem started? How long have they been working in the company, and was this an issue from the beginning or did it start recently?
One possible solution could be for HR to consider moving the husband to a different role through a passive promotion, where he would have less opportunity to check on his wife's activities. This suggestion stems from your mention that both individuals are valuable assets to the company.
Additionally, it would be advisable to speak with the female employee to determine if this problem is due to interactions with all male employees or specific individuals.
If you are an HR professional, handling such situations would indeed be a crucial aspect of your role. ;) Anyway, all the best! :)
Kind regards, [Your Name]
From India, Bangalore
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Sorry to hear about a situation like this. Have you had a counseling session with the mentioned lady employee, or was that feedback given by another counselor?
Could you please state when this problem started? How long have they been working in the company, and was this an issue from the beginning or did it start recently?
One possible solution could be for HR to consider moving the husband to a different role through a passive promotion, where he would have less opportunity to check on his wife's activities. This suggestion stems from your mention that both individuals are valuable assets to the company.
Additionally, it would be advisable to speak with the female employee to determine if this problem is due to interactions with all male employees or specific individuals.
If you are an HR professional, handling such situations would indeed be a crucial aspect of your role. ;) Anyway, all the best! :)
Kind regards, [Your Name]
From India, Bangalore
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I suggest HR to terminate the husband and let the wife continue to work, for the simple reason that he is narrow-minded. It doesn't matter how professional he is in his interactions with colleagues. It's a clear indication of his mindset that when it comes to the opposite sex, he has different intentions. He appears to be professional, but internally he views the opposite sex as mere objects.
Regards,
Mohan Rao.
From India, Bangalore
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Regards,
Mohan Rao.
From India, Bangalore
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Hi,
There must be some kind of problem; try to find the root cause because nobody in today's world gets so typical about such small matters. Tell them there are two kinds of people on earth: one male and another female. You can't avoid the opposite sex if you want to work in today's environment. This case could be because of one particular male employee; find out the root cause.
Regards,
Poonam
From India, Delhi
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There must be some kind of problem; try to find the root cause because nobody in today's world gets so typical about such small matters. Tell them there are two kinds of people on earth: one male and another female. You can't avoid the opposite sex if you want to work in today's environment. This case could be because of one particular male employee; find out the root cause.
Regards,
Poonam
From India, Delhi
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Hi,
Good topic, especially for HR. I have a few suggestions. The best thing is to put them together in the same department or assign work in such a way that they need to work with another employee who is of the opposite gender for a long time. This will prevent them from focusing on their partner. It can help to resolve the situation promptly for HR, the individuals involved, and their colleagues. Either they will learn to work together and understand their mistakes, or you may soon see a separation. The workplace is for work and not a place to address personal matters.
Regards,
Bindu
From India, Bangalore
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Good topic, especially for HR. I have a few suggestions. The best thing is to put them together in the same department or assign work in such a way that they need to work with another employee who is of the opposite gender for a long time. This will prevent them from focusing on their partner. It can help to resolve the situation promptly for HR, the individuals involved, and their colleagues. Either they will learn to work together and understand their mistakes, or you may soon see a separation. The workplace is for work and not a place to address personal matters.
Regards,
Bindu
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Mahr,
Thanks for your response. She had a counseling session with HR. She has been facing this problem for the past six months. They have been working at the company for around 5 years. It was a love-cum-arranged marriage. Both are from the same caste and religion.
They both work in different departments. She is good-looking and has good communication skills. She interacts well with everyone, including her husband. It's not a particular problem with one male colleague, but with almost everyone.
She was feeling a bit depressed and was considering resigning. So, what emotional support can we give to this employee? Our company won't entertain promoting people based on these types of problems.
Thank you.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Thanks for your response. She had a counseling session with HR. She has been facing this problem for the past six months. They have been working at the company for around 5 years. It was a love-cum-arranged marriage. Both are from the same caste and religion.
They both work in different departments. She is good-looking and has good communication skills. She interacts well with everyone, including her husband. It's not a particular problem with one male colleague, but with almost everyone.
She was feeling a bit depressed and was considering resigning. So, what emotional support can we give to this employee? Our company won't entertain promoting people based on these types of problems.
Thank you.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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This kind of situation is very common where husband and wife are working together. There are some steps that can be taken to check this problem:
First, to give the husband more responsible work (but not overload, else this would deteriorate the situation) and motivate him for work, applaud him in public so that his narrow-mindedness slightly reduces.
Second, if the above doesn't help, then the HR should tactfully warn the husband that if his behavior doesn't change and hampers this other employee's (wife's) performance, then the company/HR will have to take strict action against him. If required, also make him explain that if he doesn't behave positively, his job may come under risk. This will really make him come on track!
Third, being an HR, you can also consider shifting the lady to other branches if you have to save everything. Of course, after counseling with the wife in this regard. As someone already mentioned above, it's important to know the root cause, and the wife's close friend/colleague can only throw some ray of hope.
It's really nice to see that within a very short period of time of a day, there have been a lot of good responses and a few bad responses even. For example, Mr. Roy. Yes, I agree with Mr. Ravishankar - how can Mr. Roy advise in such a way? It's not at all a solution, and it's really not fair.
From India, Guwahati
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First, to give the husband more responsible work (but not overload, else this would deteriorate the situation) and motivate him for work, applaud him in public so that his narrow-mindedness slightly reduces.
Second, if the above doesn't help, then the HR should tactfully warn the husband that if his behavior doesn't change and hampers this other employee's (wife's) performance, then the company/HR will have to take strict action against him. If required, also make him explain that if he doesn't behave positively, his job may come under risk. This will really make him come on track!
Third, being an HR, you can also consider shifting the lady to other branches if you have to save everything. Of course, after counseling with the wife in this regard. As someone already mentioned above, it's important to know the root cause, and the wife's close friend/colleague can only throw some ray of hope.
It's really nice to see that within a very short period of time of a day, there have been a lot of good responses and a few bad responses even. For example, Mr. Roy. Yes, I agree with Mr. Ravishankar - how can Mr. Roy advise in such a way? It's not at all a solution, and it's really not fair.
From India, Guwahati
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Husband and wife relationship is based on mutual understanding and belief. Both should realize that nothing will happen due to interaction in the office. Some husbands are jealous of their wives, and vice versa. My wife is working, and she interacts with many guys every day, but I never felt that something wrong is going on because I know her very well. Similarly, I also interact with many beautiful girls in the office, and my wife never objected or minded as it is a part of our profession. So, I suggest that husbands should be more broad-minded and try to accept the reality in the modern world. A villager may object in such circumstances, whereas an educated person would never think so. Best of luck.
From India, Calcutta
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From India, Calcutta
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Hi,
In most organizations, rumors will automatically arise. Hearing unwanted gossip about one's spouse from colleagues can be frustrating for both the husband and wife.
In this scenario, the husband should sit with his wife and address all the rumors that are circulating about her in a straightforward manner. He should also advise her to limit interactions with colleagues who are spreading such rumors.
The HR team should be vigilant about addressing these types of issues in the organization as they can impact the organizational culture.
Thanks,
NareshG
From India, Hyderabad
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In most organizations, rumors will automatically arise. Hearing unwanted gossip about one's spouse from colleagues can be frustrating for both the husband and wife.
In this scenario, the husband should sit with his wife and address all the rumors that are circulating about her in a straightforward manner. He should also advise her to limit interactions with colleagues who are spreading such rumors.
The HR team should be vigilant about addressing these types of issues in the organization as they can impact the organizational culture.
Thanks,
NareshG
From India, Hyderabad
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I feel, as an HR professional, you should look into the problem faced by this female employee. This is definitely a sensitive issue concerning the relationship between husband and wife. The HR should first check with the lady to understand her perspective on this matter. It should be communicated to her that she cannot avoid interacting with her team as it is essential to collaborate with them to accomplish tasks and to establish good relationships with them. If she strongly prioritizes her career, she should discuss this with her husband and take a firm stance. This issue cannot be overlooked as it affects both work and the work environment.
HR should have a conversation with the husband to discuss observations, inquire if he has any concerns, and if it is simply a case of possessiveness, HR should provide counseling and make it explicitly clear that he should not interfere with his wife's or colleagues' work, as it impacts productivity and the work environment. Additionally, it should be communicated that if this behavior persists, concrete actions will be taken. Ignoring such behavior in the workplace is not acceptable, as it constitutes misconduct. If necessary, it may be required to let go of such an individual. Work should be kept separate from personal relationships, and HR must ensure that such situations are appropriately addressed.
Regarding the message from Mahr to Kamal Amrohi, I would recommend the following corrections:
Dear Kamal Amrohi,
I am sorry to hear about the situation you are facing. Have you had a counseling session with the female employee mentioned, or was this feedback provided by another counselor? Could you specify when this problem initially arose? How long have they been employed in the company, and did this issue arise at the beginning or more recently?
One potential solution for HR could be to promote the husband to a position that keeps him occupied and less able to monitor his wife's activities, especially considering that both individuals are valuable assets to the company. It would also be beneficial to inquire with the female employee if this problem is due to the presence of male employees in general or specific individuals.
If you are an HR professional, this situation presents a real challenge. All the best in handling it!
Regards,
Madhu
Regards,
Madhavi
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HR should have a conversation with the husband to discuss observations, inquire if he has any concerns, and if it is simply a case of possessiveness, HR should provide counseling and make it explicitly clear that he should not interfere with his wife's or colleagues' work, as it impacts productivity and the work environment. Additionally, it should be communicated that if this behavior persists, concrete actions will be taken. Ignoring such behavior in the workplace is not acceptable, as it constitutes misconduct. If necessary, it may be required to let go of such an individual. Work should be kept separate from personal relationships, and HR must ensure that such situations are appropriately addressed.
Regarding the message from Mahr to Kamal Amrohi, I would recommend the following corrections:
Dear Kamal Amrohi,
I am sorry to hear about the situation you are facing. Have you had a counseling session with the female employee mentioned, or was this feedback provided by another counselor? Could you specify when this problem initially arose? How long have they been employed in the company, and did this issue arise at the beginning or more recently?
One potential solution for HR could be to promote the husband to a position that keeps him occupied and less able to monitor his wife's activities, especially considering that both individuals are valuable assets to the company. It would also be beneficial to inquire with the female employee if this problem is due to the presence of male employees in general or specific individuals.
If you are an HR professional, this situation presents a real challenge. All the best in handling it!
Regards,
Madhu
Regards,
Madhavi
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My suggestion is, "The need for counseling for the husband by the wife is crucial. When the husband and wife have a good relationship, this issue is less significant. In the office, it is essential to communicate with everyone regarding work."
Thank you.
From India, Madras
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Thank you.
From India, Madras
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In this case, two points have to be kept in mind:
1. Personal
2. Official
In order to ensure that their personal lives are not endangered, especially when both husband and wife are working in the same organization, the best solution for the HR Department is to reallocate and assign the wife to a different department where there will be less interaction with male colleagues. This is because the husband does not want his wife to interact with male colleagues.
By adopting this approach, the personal lives of the couple will not be endangered, and they can continue working in the same organization. One possible reason for this situation could be that the husband is experiencing an inferiority complex.
From India, Bangalore
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1. Personal
2. Official
In order to ensure that their personal lives are not endangered, especially when both husband and wife are working in the same organization, the best solution for the HR Department is to reallocate and assign the wife to a different department where there will be less interaction with male colleagues. This is because the husband does not want his wife to interact with male colleagues.
By adopting this approach, the personal lives of the couple will not be endangered, and they can continue working in the same organization. One possible reason for this situation could be that the husband is experiencing an inferiority complex.
From India, Bangalore
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Dear Madhu,
Thank you for your response. We also had a counseling session with her husband. On one occasion, he was in the company canteen sitting in a corner when he overheard some negative comments being made by his wife's colleagues. It turned out to be the entire team.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Thank you for your response. We also had a counseling session with her husband. On one occasion, he was in the company canteen sitting in a corner when he overheard some negative comments being made by his wife's colleagues. It turned out to be the entire team.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Dear Kamal,
As Maliniluky suggested, try to find the exact problem and refer to the policies, as most companies do not allow husbands and wives to work in the same organization. If you are able to pinpoint the exact issue, try to resolve it. If you are unable to resolve it, consider transferring one of them to another nearby branch.
For the sake of their long-term relationship, it would be beneficial for them to openly discuss the issue and work towards a resolution. Additionally, observe if there are any ego issues or if one of the staff members is being dishonest with her husband, as this could be part of internal politics.
I hope you will be able to resolve the issue promptly.
From India, New Delhi
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As Maliniluky suggested, try to find the exact problem and refer to the policies, as most companies do not allow husbands and wives to work in the same organization. If you are able to pinpoint the exact issue, try to resolve it. If you are unable to resolve it, consider transferring one of them to another nearby branch.
For the sake of their long-term relationship, it would be beneficial for them to openly discuss the issue and work towards a resolution. Additionally, observe if there are any ego issues or if one of the staff members is being dishonest with her husband, as this could be part of internal politics.
I hope you will be able to resolve the issue promptly.
From India, New Delhi
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Dear Mishra,
Thank you for your suggestions. Now, management has decided to fire one of them. They don't want to lose their best employees because of these two. The management doesn't want to discuss any more of their personal lives. So, who should be fired? In this situation, what can HR do?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Thank you for your suggestions. Now, management has decided to fire one of them. They don't want to lose their best employees because of these two. The management doesn't want to discuss any more of their personal lives. So, who should be fired? In this situation, what can HR do?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Dear Kamal Amrohi,
After all the discussion, I would suggest advising the female employee to seek counseling for her husband from a private psychologist. Since you mentioned that his issue arises if his wife interacts with any male employee, advising him directly may not be effective and could potentially lead to major personal issues.
Please refrain from discussing this topic in group communication within the office. If you happen to notice anyone doing so, it could have a significantly negative impact on their family life, especially if the male employee in question overhears. I hope you understand my perspective in a positive light. :)
Best regards, [Your Name]
From India, Bangalore
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After all the discussion, I would suggest advising the female employee to seek counseling for her husband from a private psychologist. Since you mentioned that his issue arises if his wife interacts with any male employee, advising him directly may not be effective and could potentially lead to major personal issues.
Please refrain from discussing this topic in group communication within the office. If you happen to notice anyone doing so, it could have a significantly negative impact on their family life, especially if the male employee in question overhears. I hope you understand my perspective in a positive light. :)
Best regards, [Your Name]
From India, Bangalore
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Again, don't let anybody just walk in to that male employee to give a word of advice. It would precisely bother that female employee. I would suggest you to check with your HR team on what has been stated by Ms. Bindu here in the thread. Hope that's a nice idea... :)
Best regards, Mahesh
From India, Bangalore
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Best regards, Mahesh
From India, Bangalore
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Hi,
It is common sense that if both individuals work in the same organization, they will interact with all departments because without proper communication, the organization cannot run smoothly. However, the key point is that your wife should only focus on official tasks and communication with all departments. She should avoid forming close attachments with anyone other than you.
From India, Jhajjar
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It is common sense that if both individuals work in the same organization, they will interact with all departments because without proper communication, the organization cannot run smoothly. However, the key point is that your wife should only focus on official tasks and communication with all departments. She should avoid forming close attachments with anyone other than you.
From India, Jhajjar
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Some good responses from mahr, nareshg, and kkmishra.
One of the most childish and foolish responses already noticed. To lose or terminate anyone is not a solution.
As resulted from all over, a husband needs further fair and cheeky counseling. Means counsel, by the way, doesn't put directly or individually.
Being some male employee gossips and comments badly, one of these husbands feels bad and narrow-minded. More focus is required on the people gossiping and the person in the wife's department who must have some bad intentions toward that lady.
There are many types of presentations and film trainings by which you can run a program in your organization, where you appreciate and award the people who are best in manner in front of the opposite sex... or award the best working pair... and also, side by side make some common comments and announce atrocious to the gossips and abusing type of activity... like don't name your organization people who gossip, use some news around your company or location where some guilt or any case regarding the same has been done... and make a notice board... that such shameful activity has been done... in so & so company in today's such a modern culture.
Also, please make an emotional touch in those training sessions that from such bad activities (like gossip and narrow-mindedness) anyone in the family gets disturbed. The bad life may start for such a family's child.
Means try to create an environment for all where everybody tries to prove themselves as an excellent husband/wife, and not involve themselves in bad gossip.
All the best.
Regards,
Gaurav Arora
From India, Kota
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One of the most childish and foolish responses already noticed. To lose or terminate anyone is not a solution.
As resulted from all over, a husband needs further fair and cheeky counseling. Means counsel, by the way, doesn't put directly or individually.
Being some male employee gossips and comments badly, one of these husbands feels bad and narrow-minded. More focus is required on the people gossiping and the person in the wife's department who must have some bad intentions toward that lady.
There are many types of presentations and film trainings by which you can run a program in your organization, where you appreciate and award the people who are best in manner in front of the opposite sex... or award the best working pair... and also, side by side make some common comments and announce atrocious to the gossips and abusing type of activity... like don't name your organization people who gossip, use some news around your company or location where some guilt or any case regarding the same has been done... and make a notice board... that such shameful activity has been done... in so & so company in today's such a modern culture.
Also, please make an emotional touch in those training sessions that from such bad activities (like gossip and narrow-mindedness) anyone in the family gets disturbed. The bad life may start for such a family's child.
Means try to create an environment for all where everybody tries to prove themselves as an excellent husband/wife, and not involve themselves in bad gossip.
All the best.
Regards,
Gaurav Arora
From India, Kota
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Hi!
I think the best way is to act professionally. Take the lady employee into confidence and issue a memo to her (since you say that her non-interaction with colleagues will hamper work in due course). Let her show the memo to her husband and explain her problem. She can explain to him that her professional reputation and career can be at stake. I am sure they can solve their problems internally in a much more effective manner.
If the husband is professional, he will stop intervening in her professional life and give her the freedom at work, which would be good for both the lady herself and the organization. If he is unprofessional, he might ask her to resign. This also will be good for the organization in the future as you would curtail creating an unhealthy environment in her department. Let them internally make decisions on their respective future.
From India, Mumbai
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I think the best way is to act professionally. Take the lady employee into confidence and issue a memo to her (since you say that her non-interaction with colleagues will hamper work in due course). Let her show the memo to her husband and explain her problem. She can explain to him that her professional reputation and career can be at stake. I am sure they can solve their problems internally in a much more effective manner.
If the husband is professional, he will stop intervening in her professional life and give her the freedom at work, which would be good for both the lady herself and the organization. If he is unprofessional, he might ask her to resign. This also will be good for the organization in the future as you would curtail creating an unhealthy environment in her department. Let them internally make decisions on their respective future.
From India, Mumbai
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Ask the lady whether her husband has a problem with any particular male employee or with all her colleagues. If her husband has a problem with a particular male employee, then she needs to stop interacting. If the problem is with all her colleagues, then she is advised to change the job. One reason may be that her husband does not have much to do, which is why he has started to behave like this. So the best way is to give him some more tasks to do.
From India, Jamnagar
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From India, Jamnagar
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This can only occur when one has more time to think about these silly things. Increase the husband's workload so that he does not have time to dwell on such matters.
By the way, no marital problems can be resolved by anyone other than the couple themselves.
Regards,
K. Sarkar
From India, Ranchi
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By the way, no marital problems can be resolved by anyone other than the couple themselves.
Regards,
K. Sarkar
From India, Ranchi
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Dear Sarkar,
Thank you for your reply.
Well, the husband mentioned that her colleagues were speaking really badly. They had a bet on the color of the undergarment she wore, and one of the colleagues lost the bet. The person who lost the bet was hosting a party. He shared these details with his wife, yet she continues to interact with those colleagues in a very friendly manner.
Given this situation, what actions would you suggest?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Thank you for your reply.
Well, the husband mentioned that her colleagues were speaking really badly. They had a bet on the color of the undergarment she wore, and one of the colleagues lost the bet. The person who lost the bet was hosting a party. He shared these details with his wife, yet she continues to interact with those colleagues in a very friendly manner.
Given this situation, what actions would you suggest?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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I think you should talk to both of them. Running away from the situation, leaving the job, or filing a divorce case will not be the solution to any problem. Maybe her husband does not want her to talk to a particular guy. Check if you can transfer either of them to another branch or office.
From India, Mumbai
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From India, Mumbai
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Hey hi Kamal, Company demands Work. Relationship demands Trust. Everythings starts from heart & mind.
From India, Hyderabad
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From India, Hyderabad
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Female employees have no need to do anything but to show maturity and help their husbands understand that they are working for the company just like any other non-couple male and female colleagues. They should emphasize the importance of their work and focus on understanding each other's basic needs rather than engaging in unnecessary arguments. - S. S. Suryavanshi.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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Every problem has more than one possible solution. One point is that both husband and wife have already spent a reasonable amount of time with each other; therefore, they must understand the feelings and emotions of each other. This problem might be due to only one person, the person who is not liked by her husband. When a husband sees that his wife is talking openly with someone else whom he does not like, it will obviously hurt him.
The ultimate solution is for the husband to be clear about the particular person or for the wife to analyze on her own behalf whom her husband does not like, regardless of how nice the third person may be. Divorce is not the solution. It can lead to more problems.
From Pakistan, Lahore
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The ultimate solution is for the husband to be clear about the particular person or for the wife to analyze on her own behalf whom her husband does not like, regardless of how nice the third person may be. Divorce is not the solution. It can lead to more problems.
From Pakistan, Lahore
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I feel now that you have done personal counseling for each of them separately, now it's time that you should bring them together and have a discussion with HR and, if possible, any professional counselor, trainer, or coach. Mention to them that the HR department has observed these rumors and unnecessary discussions which may be causing problems for the organization, its culture, and the work environment. You can listen to both of them and leave the decision to them on what to do next. Be very clear that you don't want the organization and its culture to be affected by any personal issues.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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Dear All,
This is very common in the organization and in our society. Both of them should be individually called and asked about the problems they are facing, promising not to disclose any points they don't want to share. Half of the problem will be solved through cross-questioning in privacy.
Later, after discussing this with a trusted individual, call both of them and address the problems they are facing from each other. Present the emotional and social reasons to encourage reconciliation. Regular counseling is necessary for a few days continuously to help them calm down.
If there is an issue with a particular person in the organization, remove that person from the situation.
Regards,
Ram
From India, Delhi
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This is very common in the organization and in our society. Both of them should be individually called and asked about the problems they are facing, promising not to disclose any points they don't want to share. Half of the problem will be solved through cross-questioning in privacy.
Later, after discussing this with a trusted individual, call both of them and address the problems they are facing from each other. Present the emotional and social reasons to encourage reconciliation. Regular counseling is necessary for a few days continuously to help them calm down.
If there is an issue with a particular person in the organization, remove that person from the situation.
Regards,
Ram
From India, Delhi
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Dear Shama,
Thanks for your response. I can't get you. Change the position of the woman. You mean to say designation or place? But I don't think by changing the designation or place it will work out.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Thanks for your response. I can't get you. Change the position of the woman. You mean to say designation or place? But I don't think by changing the designation or place it will work out.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Hi, Mr. Kamrohi,
As I got to know from the thread posted, it's a very complicated situation. In my point of view, it is always a tedious job for an HR to satisfy both the husband and the wife if they both are in the same company. For a situation like this, I think, as many have advised, you should find the specific one who is the real problem for the husband. Moreover, they should both also be given some projects to achieve together if possible. This could be the best solution if they talk together without anyone interrupting them. Whatever the solution may be, you should act promptly before it causes degradation in productivity. Best of luck.
From India, Patna
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As I got to know from the thread posted, it's a very complicated situation. In my point of view, it is always a tedious job for an HR to satisfy both the husband and the wife if they both are in the same company. For a situation like this, I think, as many have advised, you should find the specific one who is the real problem for the husband. Moreover, they should both also be given some projects to achieve together if possible. This could be the best solution if they talk together without anyone interrupting them. Whatever the solution may be, you should act promptly before it causes degradation in productivity. Best of luck.
From India, Patna
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Dear Kamal Amrohi,
Firing should be given due consideration. Tell the situation to that male employee. Let somebody close to that male employee be granted a chance to have a word with him.
If you have decided to fire, then you should fire the female employee. I really wonder why this issue has reached the management without proper discussion within the HR department...
From India, Bangalore
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Firing should be given due consideration. Tell the situation to that male employee. Let somebody close to that male employee be granted a chance to have a word with him.
If you have decided to fire, then you should fire the female employee. I really wonder why this issue has reached the management without proper discussion within the HR department...
From India, Bangalore
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Did you mention, "she will stop working with male colleagues if you stop dealing with your female colleagues," and still, he is doing this? It means he doesn't want his wife to work. Counsel both the husband and wife at the same time and try to solve their issues. Since you have a policy on relationships, you have to be a family dispute manager too. 😛
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Dear Mahesh,
Well, that lady is close to management. Maybe she might have discussed this problem with them, as the directors are directly involved with the project unit. Not sure!
Thanks for your response and to Bindu as well.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Well, that lady is close to management. Maybe she might have discussed this problem with them, as the directors are directly involved with the project unit. Not sure!
Thanks for your response and to Bindu as well.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Dear Kamal Amrohi,
It would be more appropriate if you could reconsider the decision of termination and explore internal solutions. Perhaps, modifying the tasks and Key Result Areas (KRAs) of the individual in question without interfering with her personal life would be beneficial.
By providing an opportunity for intervention, you could suggest that the individual arranges counseling for her husband with a psychologist. It is important not to overlook this possibility as it may prove to be helpful. My advice is not to disregard opportunities, as people often regret missed chances.
Best regards,
Mahesh
From India, Bangalore
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It would be more appropriate if you could reconsider the decision of termination and explore internal solutions. Perhaps, modifying the tasks and Key Result Areas (KRAs) of the individual in question without interfering with her personal life would be beneficial.
By providing an opportunity for intervention, you could suggest that the individual arranges counseling for her husband with a psychologist. It is important not to overlook this possibility as it may prove to be helpful. My advice is not to disregard opportunities, as people often regret missed chances.
Best regards,
Mahesh
From India, Bangalore
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my dear 'Amit Mba' its nt the husband who is the writer, bt the HR of that compn., so dear, better u check dat.....
From India, Guwahati
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From India, Guwahati
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Dear Kamal,
I am not well experienced to suggest anything. Nevertheless, I am discussing here. I read about the problems between a wife and husband. Theirs is a love-cum-arranged marriage, which means they must have understood each other well. However, after 5 years, problems arose, indicating that the husband might have heard some negative comments about his beloved. Instead of the wife hesitating, she should be asked to understand the situation. I suggest that the husband share the problem with his wife personally to explain why he is behaving this way.
If the wife is unwilling to listen to anything from her husband and insists on maintaining the same attitude, then so be it. However, the husband should be advised to be more open with his female colleagues in front of his wife, allowing any comments to surface in her presence. This way, she may comprehend why, at one point, the husband cautioned her about being careful around male colleagues.
We are given only one life to be happy. Let it be so. Please excuse any mistakes in my words.
From India, Hyderabad
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I am not well experienced to suggest anything. Nevertheless, I am discussing here. I read about the problems between a wife and husband. Theirs is a love-cum-arranged marriage, which means they must have understood each other well. However, after 5 years, problems arose, indicating that the husband might have heard some negative comments about his beloved. Instead of the wife hesitating, she should be asked to understand the situation. I suggest that the husband share the problem with his wife personally to explain why he is behaving this way.
If the wife is unwilling to listen to anything from her husband and insists on maintaining the same attitude, then so be it. However, the husband should be advised to be more open with his female colleagues in front of his wife, allowing any comments to surface in her presence. This way, she may comprehend why, at one point, the husband cautioned her about being careful around male colleagues.
We are given only one life to be happy. Let it be so. Please excuse any mistakes in my words.
From India, Hyderabad
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Dear Kamal,
After reading today's post by you, as you mentioned that the husband heard 'some' colleagues talking about his wife's undergarments, it's obvious that any husband will be taken aback, especially when his wife is not showing concern to such 'bad comments' made by colleagues (even when he tried to make her aware of them).
So, it's very natural that the husband will react negatively because he cannot let anyone speak badly about his dear wife. In this situation, it's the wife's duty to understand her husband's emotions and be aware of such colleagues, especially those. She should somewhat change her behavior towards them by being reserved but at the same time maintaining friendliness and cooperation so that the husband is relieved.
Honestly, initially, I felt sympathy for the lady, but now, Kamal, after reading your post today, I'm feeling sympathy rather for the husband because he is helpless to save his wife's name and fame.
So, I think the lady should be cautious; that will solve all the problems.
From India, Guwahati
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After reading today's post by you, as you mentioned that the husband heard 'some' colleagues talking about his wife's undergarments, it's obvious that any husband will be taken aback, especially when his wife is not showing concern to such 'bad comments' made by colleagues (even when he tried to make her aware of them).
So, it's very natural that the husband will react negatively because he cannot let anyone speak badly about his dear wife. In this situation, it's the wife's duty to understand her husband's emotions and be aware of such colleagues, especially those. She should somewhat change her behavior towards them by being reserved but at the same time maintaining friendliness and cooperation so that the husband is relieved.
Honestly, initially, I felt sympathy for the lady, but now, Kamal, after reading your post today, I'm feeling sympathy rather for the husband because he is helpless to save his wife's name and fame.
So, I think the lady should be cautious; that will solve all the problems.
From India, Guwahati
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Hi Kamal,
I feel that you should hear both of the employees individually and then make a wise decision. If it's going to hamper their relationship, then it's better to have one partner transferred to another branch office (if available). Anyways, suspicious behavior has no remedy and no end to it. If you can afford to lose one of them, then you can try to persuade either of them to resign. All the best!!!
From India, Mumbai
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I feel that you should hear both of the employees individually and then make a wise decision. If it's going to hamper their relationship, then it's better to have one partner transferred to another branch office (if available). Anyways, suspicious behavior has no remedy and no end to it. If you can afford to lose one of them, then you can try to persuade either of them to resign. All the best!!!
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Kamal,
Just check as mentioned by my fellow HRs, the problem is with all the males or with selected ones. Also, try to get some feedback on the persons (if few) with whom the problem arises from their department to find the attitude. Because all the time males are not wrong, the husband would have smelled some rat. I am not supporting the husband, still try to have some idea about both the individuals involved and also try to have an interaction with the female involved to find out the root of the problem. You can do it, man, you will do it. All the very best.
From India, New Delhi
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Just check as mentioned by my fellow HRs, the problem is with all the males or with selected ones. Also, try to get some feedback on the persons (if few) with whom the problem arises from their department to find the attitude. Because all the time males are not wrong, the husband would have smelled some rat. I am not supporting the husband, still try to have some idea about both the individuals involved and also try to have an interaction with the female involved to find out the root of the problem. You can do it, man, you will do it. All the very best.
From India, New Delhi
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Husband and Wife working in the same firm. The wife is facing problems due to her husband. Firstly, internal company policies should not interfere as this is their personal issue. They should sit together, talk, and try to resolve it. Why doesn't her husband want her to communicate with others in the office? Is he trying to protect her, or is he becoming overly possessive? There must be a significant reason behind this behavior. Problems can only be solved through open discussion.
From India
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From India
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It's a serious issue. There should be a counseling session for both to try to identify the core problem. What I feel is that fault lies on both sides, so it is very necessary to find out the core problem. For a good relationship, mutual trust and understanding are very necessary. The aim should be to develop a healthy climate where both can understand each other's problems. Perhaps the problem is very personal, directly impacting their work. The HR manager should help them understand how exactly they both should behave and the need to foster a healthy relationship.
From India, Ajmer
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From India, Ajmer
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Hi,
Hmm, very complicated, dear, but at the same time, very easy. As per my thinking concerning this, I would like to say that a wife does not work in the same organization as her husband. I do not mean that the wife should work in isolation. But this is a situation where both their work can be affected, and growth may be stopped. If possible, the husband has to ask management to place his wife with him and vice versa. If this may not be possible, then being an Indian cultured wife, the wife should understand that if her husband does not want particular things from her, then why should she. It does not mean that the wife has to do whatever the husband says, but there should be clear and cut understanding to know each other, as well as faith.
Thank you.
From India, Surat
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Hmm, very complicated, dear, but at the same time, very easy. As per my thinking concerning this, I would like to say that a wife does not work in the same organization as her husband. I do not mean that the wife should work in isolation. But this is a situation where both their work can be affected, and growth may be stopped. If possible, the husband has to ask management to place his wife with him and vice versa. If this may not be possible, then being an Indian cultured wife, the wife should understand that if her husband does not want particular things from her, then why should she. It does not mean that the wife has to do whatever the husband says, but there should be clear and cut understanding to know each other, as well as faith.
Thank you.
From India, Surat
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Well, I do not suppose that HR has the responsibility of talking about the spouse relationship. In this particular case, I feel that if there are communication problems that have somehow affected the outcomes or objectives of the company, and this has been ongoing for some time, and the problem has been raised by coworkers or supervisors, only then the issue needs to be discussed with the female employee. It should be made clear to her that whatever the reasons behind it, either she should explicitly mention them, perhaps it's a matter of sexual harassment, and if not, then she should develop better communication and interpersonal skills to meet the company's objectives. She should be made aware of the results and the people affected due to her lack of communication with colleagues.
From Pakistan, Islamabad
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From Pakistan, Islamabad
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That depends on the company's policies and rules if it is possible. Organizations establish rules regarding relationships. In this case, it is an emotional relationship, not a professional one in an organization where only professional relationships are encouraged. It is essential to maintain a good work relationship.
From India, Delhi
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From India, Delhi
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Dear Roy,
You have totally missed the point. It is the HR of the organization who wants advice on how to handle the situation amicably. There is absolutely no need to go into the matrimonial life of the couple and sermon the gentle lady about the action she should take and go as far as a divorce. You should refrain from giving such wrongful advice.
Rajendra
From India, Pune
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You have totally missed the point. It is the HR of the organization who wants advice on how to handle the situation amicably. There is absolutely no need to go into the matrimonial life of the couple and sermon the gentle lady about the action she should take and go as far as a divorce. You should refrain from giving such wrongful advice.
Rajendra
From India, Pune
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Dear all,
Thank you very much for your response. However, I have not yet reached a conclusion. As professionals, what should we do? I do not wish to interfere in their personal lives, and they also do not want anyone to interfere in their personal lives. Both individuals are from different departments and are crucial to us. Our management is not keen on relocating them to different offices, especially since we do not have operations in India; all our activities are overseas.
The husband has proposed resignation, but the management does not want to lose him. Should we accept it or not?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Thank you very much for your response. However, I have not yet reached a conclusion. As professionals, what should we do? I do not wish to interfere in their personal lives, and they also do not want anyone to interfere in their personal lives. Both individuals are from different departments and are crucial to us. Our management is not keen on relocating them to different offices, especially since we do not have operations in India; all our activities are overseas.
The husband has proposed resignation, but the management does not want to lose him. Should we accept it or not?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Being an HR professional myself, I never encourage having a husband and wife working in the same organization. The situation could lead to favoritism or conflicts, such as the husband having private discussions with one colleague and instructing the wife not to interact with male colleagues. However, since they have been working together for a long time, issues have arisen recently. Perhaps, the problem arose because the wife started interacting too frequently with a particular male colleague, which made the husband jealous.
Since you have interacted with both parties, you may have a clearer understanding of the situation. It might be advisable to separate them. By keeping them apart in the office, they will have fewer opportunities to engage in non-work-related discussions when they do meet.
Thank you.
From India, Mumbai
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Since you have interacted with both parties, you may have a clearer understanding of the situation. It might be advisable to separate them. By keeping them apart in the office, they will have fewer opportunities to engage in non-work-related discussions when they do meet.
Thank you.
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Roy,
You have totally missed the point. You are suggesting bypass surgery to the wife for the husband's headache. It is the HR of the organization who has a problem and wants to solve it amicably. There is no need for you to interfere in the couple's matrimonial life and go to the extent of divorce. You will ruin somebody's life with your misplaced advice. Understand the problem before you suggest any action.
Rajendra.
From India, Pune
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You have totally missed the point. You are suggesting bypass surgery to the wife for the husband's headache. It is the HR of the organization who has a problem and wants to solve it amicably. There is no need for you to interfere in the couple's matrimonial life and go to the extent of divorce. You will ruin somebody's life with your misplaced advice. Understand the problem before you suggest any action.
Rajendra.
From India, Pune
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As per your statement, the couple has a very good track record, and the problem has cropped up only recently. In that case, you will have to track the root cause of the problem to find a remedy, and mind you, it is not as simple as it sounds. This would involve the cooperation of all those who are close to the couple. If you find that things are not under control, then call the concerned party and tell them in no uncertain terms that if the trend continues, one of them shall have to quit the organization.
Rajendra.
From India, Pune
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Rajendra.
From India, Pune
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Dear Kamal Amrohi,
Finally, you shall rework on the KRAs of the female employee. Ask that particular female employee to take her husband for counseling. Advise that female employee to act upon the will of her husband. Make the male employees good friends to talk to him regarding the aspects.
Again, you don't have many choices here to check with. Just give it a try... :)
All the best! ;)
From India, Bangalore
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Finally, you shall rework on the KRAs of the female employee. Ask that particular female employee to take her husband for counseling. Advise that female employee to act upon the will of her husband. Make the male employees good friends to talk to him regarding the aspects.
Again, you don't have many choices here to check with. Just give it a try... :)
All the best! ;)
From India, Bangalore
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Personal problems need to stay at home, and work needs to be work. The husband should not bring his jealousy and insecurity to work and act like a control freak. They just need different personnel in charge of them and have them in separate working areas.
They can handle their emotional problems at home; that is what trust and communication are about. It is not up to a company to change processes or a woman's job because of her husband's insecurities. If you don't have a policy on relationships, then you can make one. But if hired knowing they were married, it's the business's fault. You can also send one of them to another location, and that'll help.
From United States, Fort Smith
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They can handle their emotional problems at home; that is what trust and communication are about. It is not up to a company to change processes or a woman's job because of her husband's insecurities. If you don't have a policy on relationships, then you can make one. But if hired knowing they were married, it's the business's fault. You can also send one of them to another location, and that'll help.
From United States, Fort Smith
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The wife can reciprocate the same demand to her husband, i.e., not to talk to female employees. Hopefully, this will make him realize what he is asking for.
All this shows that the husband lacks professionalism, and the wife should also ensure that she tries to eliminate the behavior that her husband doesn't like at his workplace.
From India, Indore
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All this shows that the husband lacks professionalism, and the wife should also ensure that she tries to eliminate the behavior that her husband doesn't like at his workplace.
From India, Indore
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Once again we find lots of responses in a very short time, when the subject involves problems pertaining to gender issues and where there is no perfect solution. The INSTANT POPULARITY of such threads indicate the members' interests in 'human' issues ?! Or, the fact that it is easy to advice or voice opinion on such topics ??
After going through the discussions; one point that has been missed, in my opinion is, whether only the symptoms are being treated, instead of identifying the root cause of the problem ?
I request member to ponder over the following questions, in an attempt to find a holistic appropriate solution :
Why there has been NO ATTEMPT by the management or HR to take action on such delinquent employees (male colleagues of the woman employee) ??
Does it not constitute "SEXUAL HARASSMENT" at workplace; considering the following points:
Is it not violative of Article 21 of the Constitution which guarantees right to life and live with dignity; and Section 509 IPC which makes it a crime to indulge in “word, gesture or act intended to insult the modesty of a woman.[35] ??
Why does not the concerned HR take a written complaint from the husband about the incident along with a list of persons who were witness to the act; and proceed accordingly ??
All good companies have a Sexual harassment Policy, as mandated by the Supreme Court of India; which define and details the procedure for dealing with such complaints. I am referring a few links below which contain the Sexual harassment Policies of certain organizations; which I hope would be useful in drafting a Policy for one's own company, if not in place already :
http://www.du.ac.in/du/SexHarass.pdf
http://www.tatapower.com/aboutus/pdf...ass-policy.pdf
http://www.bayergroupindia.com/pdf/S...ent_Policy.pdf
Policy against sexual harassment in IISc
http://swasti.org <link updated to site home>
I request members to give their opinion on the above.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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After going through the discussions; one point that has been missed, in my opinion is, whether only the symptoms are being treated, instead of identifying the root cause of the problem ?
I request member to ponder over the following questions, in an attempt to find a holistic appropriate solution :
- Why disciplinary action against either the husband or the wife ?
- Have they committed any misconduct, or are they the 'victims' ?
- Is an office canteen; with employees around (including the husband of the female employee); a "designated place" allowed by the management to crack dirty, perverse jokes about female employees; the colour of their innerwear; and giving parties in continuation of "outcomes" of "perverse acts" by certain employees ??
Why there has been NO ATTEMPT by the management or HR to take action on such delinquent employees (male colleagues of the woman employee) ??
Does it not constitute "SEXUAL HARASSMENT" at workplace; considering the following points:
Moreover, does it not constitute Hostile Work Environment Harassment, (where speech or conduct is “severe or pervasive” enough to create a hostile or abusive work environment. Examples of inappropriate conduct of a sexual nature include sexually oriented jokes, sexually explicit e-mail, screen savers, posters, cartoons, and graffiti, and unwanted verbal and physical contact. The standard used to determine whether a hostile work environment exists is whether a reasonable person, in the same or similar circumstances, would find the conduct offensive) ??
- The victim does not have to be the person directly harassed but can be anyone who finds the behavior offensive and is affected by it.
- The victim can be any gender. The harasser can be any gender.
- The harasser does not have to be of the opposite sex.
- The harasser may be completely unaware that his or her behavior is offensive or constitutes sexual harassment or may be completely unaware that his or her actions could be unlawful.
Is it not violative of Article 21 of the Constitution which guarantees right to life and live with dignity; and Section 509 IPC which makes it a crime to indulge in “word, gesture or act intended to insult the modesty of a woman.[35] ??
Why does not the concerned HR take a written complaint from the husband about the incident along with a list of persons who were witness to the act; and proceed accordingly ??
All good companies have a Sexual harassment Policy, as mandated by the Supreme Court of India; which define and details the procedure for dealing with such complaints. I am referring a few links below which contain the Sexual harassment Policies of certain organizations; which I hope would be useful in drafting a Policy for one's own company, if not in place already :
http://www.du.ac.in/du/SexHarass.pdf
http://www.tatapower.com/aboutus/pdf...ass-policy.pdf
http://www.bayergroupindia.com/pdf/S...ent_Policy.pdf
Policy against sexual harassment in IISc
http://swasti.org <link updated to site home>
I request members to give their opinion on the above.
Warm regards.
From India, Delhi
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If any one of them doesn't leave the organization, no doubt they would be heading towards separation. That position would be awkward and non-reversible. So, for the present, one of them should leave that organization and get a posting in some other organization. But still, the position won't change, as the wife will have to interact with male employees in that organization also.
If the husband has any allergy to his wife's interaction with male employees, he should not have married an employed female. The other alternative, therefore, is that the wife should avoid employment for now. When with one person's salary they won't be able to manage, the husband may require his wife to work.
Dear All,
Both husband and wife are working in the same organization. They both have a good track record of working in the same organization. They are working in different departments and they have to interact with all their colleagues. For a few months, the wife has been facing problems from her husband. He doesn't want her to interact with male colleagues, but it's necessary for her work. Although her husband appears very professional and interacts well with the staff.
In this case, what can HR do? They have already conducted counseling, which led to more complications. At this stage, what can the female employee do?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Delhi
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If the husband has any allergy to his wife's interaction with male employees, he should not have married an employed female. The other alternative, therefore, is that the wife should avoid employment for now. When with one person's salary they won't be able to manage, the husband may require his wife to work.
Dear All,
Both husband and wife are working in the same organization. They both have a good track record of working in the same organization. They are working in different departments and they have to interact with all their colleagues. For a few months, the wife has been facing problems from her husband. He doesn't want her to interact with male colleagues, but it's necessary for her work. Although her husband appears very professional and interacts well with the staff.
In this case, what can HR do? They have already conducted counseling, which led to more complications. At this stage, what can the female employee do?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Delhi
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By the way, what is the hitch in posting the husband in your foreign office if the company doesn't want to accept the resignation of the husband? That way, a temporary solution would be very much there for the company as well as the couple. Otherwise, a solution provided in my previous post above can be implemented. But, if your company doesn't want to leave any of those employees, that way your company would be acting as selfish and would be making more room for their legal separation rather than a patch-up solution.
Dear all,
Thanks a lot for your response. But still, I haven't got a conclusion. As a professional, what do we have to do? I don't want to interfere in their personal life, and they too don't want anyone to interfere in their personal life. Both are from different departments and are important to us. Our management will not be interested in sending them to different offices, as we don't have any operations in India. It's all abroad. The husband has come up with a resignation, but the management doesn't want to lose him. So, shall we accept or not?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Delhi
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Dear all,
Thanks a lot for your response. But still, I haven't got a conclusion. As a professional, what do we have to do? I don't want to interfere in their personal life, and they too don't want anyone to interfere in their personal life. Both are from different departments and are important to us. Our management will not be interested in sending them to different offices, as we don't have any operations in India. It's all abroad. The husband has come up with a resignation, but the management doesn't want to lose him. So, shall we accept or not?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Delhi
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Dear Kamal,
You can't have your cake and eat it too. In short, you can't keep dismissing suggestions and then ask for more. It's like tying someone's legs and asking them to run. The only option left is for you to seek opportunities in another organization.
Rajendra.
From India, Pune
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You can't have your cake and eat it too. In short, you can't keep dismissing suggestions and then ask for more. It's like tying someone's legs and asking them to run. The only option left is for you to seek opportunities in another organization.
Rajendra.
From India, Pune
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This type of situation is very common in any organization as both the wife and husband work within the same company. First, one should check whether they have a strong relationship or not. Then, check with him why he felt that way. The husband and wife should sit together and discuss this issue. No one can help them unless he gets some doubt about an incident. He will not behave like that unless something doubtful arises. Probably, the woman knowingly or unknowingly showed some interest in someone, or somebody misguided him. It is better to inquire with their close friends and find out what is going on with them too.
From India, Hyderabad
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From India, Hyderabad
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Dear Friend,
An old Oriya saying says, "It is foolish to get into the tiff of a husband and wife." I hope you understand what I am saying. Please do not counsel on those issues. If they are a newly married couple or a young couple, it may be essentially jealousy or possessiveness on the part of the husband, which is good if it is within limits. The lady may be advised to talk to her husband about what exactly is bothering her. They are the best counselors to each other. Involving in their relationship is counterproductive.
From India, Chennai
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An old Oriya saying says, "It is foolish to get into the tiff of a husband and wife." I hope you understand what I am saying. Please do not counsel on those issues. If they are a newly married couple or a young couple, it may be essentially jealousy or possessiveness on the part of the husband, which is good if it is within limits. The lady may be advised to talk to her husband about what exactly is bothering her. They are the best counselors to each other. Involving in their relationship is counterproductive.
From India, Chennai
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Hi Kamal,
If the husband is ready to avoid interaction with female colleagues, why is he expecting that from his wife? He has to believe in her. In this world, there are many relationships other than what the husband is thinking. Dirty mind. Is it?
From India, Mumbai
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If the husband is ready to avoid interaction with female colleagues, why is he expecting that from his wife? He has to believe in her. In this world, there are many relationships other than what the husband is thinking. Dirty mind. Is it?
From India, Mumbai
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Dear Mr. Amrohi,
Apparently, the issue seems to be a professional one, but at the bottom, it is very much personal. If you do not counsel the gentleman keeping in mind the personal areas, you may lose out on a valuable resource (if you consider him one). The gentleman, I feel, is suffering from some kind of insecurity. Please try to find out what exactly is bothering him. He needs an analyst-cum-therapist to help him overcome this. I hope you remember the movie "Abhimaan."
Just talking to the gentleman will not suffice; you also need to speak with the lady. I am a qualified psychoanalyst and therapist. If you need any help, please feel free to seek assistance.
Dr. Srabani Basu
From India, Calcutta
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Apparently, the issue seems to be a professional one, but at the bottom, it is very much personal. If you do not counsel the gentleman keeping in mind the personal areas, you may lose out on a valuable resource (if you consider him one). The gentleman, I feel, is suffering from some kind of insecurity. Please try to find out what exactly is bothering him. He needs an analyst-cum-therapist to help him overcome this. I hope you remember the movie "Abhimaan."
Just talking to the gentleman will not suffice; you also need to speak with the lady. I am a qualified psychoanalyst and therapist. If you need any help, please feel free to seek assistance.
Dr. Srabani Basu
From India, Calcutta
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Dear Kamal,
I am sorry to hear about the management's decision in this case, and HR has only three ways to handle this situation:
1. Request a transfer to a nearby branch or outlet, if applicable.
2. Retain the male candidate. Retaining the female candidate as a key performer may result in personal life disturbances that could affect their professional life.
3. Call both of them in and inform them of the management decision, allowing them to decide who will leave. This step may prompt them to reconsider their behavior in the office for the next three months to a maximum of one year. During this period, HR should have a backup plan for the female candidate or the lower performer, or both.
I hope the issue will be resolved soon.
Kauhsal Mishra
New Delhi
From India, New Delhi
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I am sorry to hear about the management's decision in this case, and HR has only three ways to handle this situation:
1. Request a transfer to a nearby branch or outlet, if applicable.
2. Retain the male candidate. Retaining the female candidate as a key performer may result in personal life disturbances that could affect their professional life.
3. Call both of them in and inform them of the management decision, allowing them to decide who will leave. This step may prompt them to reconsider their behavior in the office for the next three months to a maximum of one year. During this period, HR should have a backup plan for the female candidate or the lower performer, or both.
I hope the issue will be resolved soon.
Kauhsal Mishra
New Delhi
From India, New Delhi
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Dear all,
Thanks for your positive response.
Well, the summary of all these threads:
1. Counselling
2. Shifting
3. File a case
No one has come up with some practical examples from their companies. This is a very common issue, and I think this site is having young HR professionals. If I refer to a book, I can get these types of suggestions.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Thanks for your positive response.
Well, the summary of all these threads:
1. Counselling
2. Shifting
3. File a case
No one has come up with some practical examples from their companies. This is a very common issue, and I think this site is having young HR professionals. If I refer to a book, I can get these types of suggestions.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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No one can help them if the problem is solved in the company; it has already created a gap between them. Only they both can help themselves. For their personal life, mistakes are made from both sides. One has to quit.
From India, Patiala
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From India, Patiala
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Dear Kamal,
If you read carefully, Raj's comment (Super Moderator - take action against employees who are the cause of this situation, which will satisfy the couple and give a lesson to them), you will get the solution. As management has already decided to fire one of them, the way to handle the situation is already given in previous comments.
The only thing left is to take action, which is possible only by you. We can only suggest to you, but the action should be taken as per the situation, which is only clear to you.
So, think carefully before making a decision and update us if possible to close the matter, as many members are involved and valuable suggestions have come up in the scenario.
One last suggestion based on practical life:
Try to convince the management to wait for some time and divert employees' minds to another topic by conducting a new event or through new notices. Simultaneously, mentor the couple that they should not be bothered by these types of situations; it will be forgotten soon by everyone as time passes. Also, try to discipline the employees who started this.
Regards,
Kaushal Mishra
New Delhi
From India, New Delhi
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If you read carefully, Raj's comment (Super Moderator - take action against employees who are the cause of this situation, which will satisfy the couple and give a lesson to them), you will get the solution. As management has already decided to fire one of them, the way to handle the situation is already given in previous comments.
The only thing left is to take action, which is possible only by you. We can only suggest to you, but the action should be taken as per the situation, which is only clear to you.
So, think carefully before making a decision and update us if possible to close the matter, as many members are involved and valuable suggestions have come up in the scenario.
One last suggestion based on practical life:
Try to convince the management to wait for some time and divert employees' minds to another topic by conducting a new event or through new notices. Simultaneously, mentor the couple that they should not be bothered by these types of situations; it will be forgotten soon by everyone as time passes. Also, try to discipline the employees who started this.
Regards,
Kaushal Mishra
New Delhi
From India, New Delhi
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First, I would suggest you change jobs, whether you or your wife... I don't think a husband and wife should work in the same organization. There are many reasons to support this, or you can understand the same as you are experiencing this, right? You can't ignore this truth.
From India, Gurgaon
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From India, Gurgaon
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Dear Kamal Amrohi,
It is quite likely that the origin of this problem is likely to be at home, and the spillover is seen in the office. As Rajeshkannan suggested, an effective counselor who reflects empathy could delve into the dynamics and facilitate both parties to see the problem in order to handle the issues, unless the husband is highly clinically suspicious.
Rajrm
From India, Bangalore
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It is quite likely that the origin of this problem is likely to be at home, and the spillover is seen in the office. As Rajeshkannan suggested, an effective counselor who reflects empathy could delve into the dynamics and facilitate both parties to see the problem in order to handle the issues, unless the husband is highly clinically suspicious.
Rajrm
From India, Bangalore
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There should not be any ill feelings between wife & husband Understanding with each other is important Husband should understand the mentality of his wife
From India, Visakhapatnam
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From India, Visakhapatnam
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I feel that to bring about a permanent solution to the problem, one should call both of them and state that as their relationship is creating an issue in the organization, only one of them can stay. The moment this is communicated, invariably the message would be clear, and the issue could be resolved. If, however, it continues, one of them should consider moving out.
Regards,
Amarendran
From India, New Delhi
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Regards,
Amarendran
From India, New Delhi
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I have gone through the entire thread giving facts about the case and different opinions given by members.
The case is about a husband and wife working in the same organization. The husband overheard some bad gossip about his wife, became suspicious and possessive. He wants his wife not to talk and mix with male colleagues, which has strained the relations between the husband and wife. HR has talked to both of them, and HR is seeking opinions on what should be done to come out of this situation.
Based on the above facts, I have the following opinions and suggestions:
• Management and HR have a very limited role to play in this case. Employers have to forget that they are husband and wife and treat them as two individual employees. They should expect normal behavior and performance from both of them, and the same should be conveyed to them. Their status as a married couple working in the same office should not hinder the organization and their individual performance. If it is creating any sort of problem, then both should be counseled and warned to improve.
• If any bad mouthing/gossip is abetted in the office, then management should take strict action against those responsible for it. The concerned employee (husband or wife) should also come forward and lodge a formal complaint with management so that a proper investigation and action are facilitated.
• The husband's expectation that his wife should not speak and mix with male colleagues is childish, foolish, and reflects a Stone Age mentality. He should not have married a working woman if he has such a mindset. Management should not support such a request from the husband since it is very difficult to work and perform in a group environment without talking and communicating.
• There is no question of management sacking either the husband or wife in this case. This extreme step can be considered only if their performance has stooped very low. In that case, sacking will be done only after giving enough time to improve and after taking intermediate steps like oral warning, written warning, counseling, other punishments, transfer, etc.
• Management should also not think of transfer since the same problem can occur in any department. In case an employee requests a transfer, such a request can be considered on merit and subject to the availability of a suitable vacancy in another department. If an employee's request for a transfer is due to harassment in a particular department, the first step is to take action against the harassment.
• Every employee has to understand that they have to work and perform in a given environment and they cannot be insulated from bosses, colleagues, subordinates, clients, and customers coming from different backgrounds with different mental setups and intentions.
• I feel management and HR are unnecessarily involved in a personal matter and are getting carried away. The same is the case with most CiteHR members.
Thanks & Regards
From India, Pune
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The case is about a husband and wife working in the same organization. The husband overheard some bad gossip about his wife, became suspicious and possessive. He wants his wife not to talk and mix with male colleagues, which has strained the relations between the husband and wife. HR has talked to both of them, and HR is seeking opinions on what should be done to come out of this situation.
Based on the above facts, I have the following opinions and suggestions:
• Management and HR have a very limited role to play in this case. Employers have to forget that they are husband and wife and treat them as two individual employees. They should expect normal behavior and performance from both of them, and the same should be conveyed to them. Their status as a married couple working in the same office should not hinder the organization and their individual performance. If it is creating any sort of problem, then both should be counseled and warned to improve.
• If any bad mouthing/gossip is abetted in the office, then management should take strict action against those responsible for it. The concerned employee (husband or wife) should also come forward and lodge a formal complaint with management so that a proper investigation and action are facilitated.
• The husband's expectation that his wife should not speak and mix with male colleagues is childish, foolish, and reflects a Stone Age mentality. He should not have married a working woman if he has such a mindset. Management should not support such a request from the husband since it is very difficult to work and perform in a group environment without talking and communicating.
• There is no question of management sacking either the husband or wife in this case. This extreme step can be considered only if their performance has stooped very low. In that case, sacking will be done only after giving enough time to improve and after taking intermediate steps like oral warning, written warning, counseling, other punishments, transfer, etc.
• Management should also not think of transfer since the same problem can occur in any department. In case an employee requests a transfer, such a request can be considered on merit and subject to the availability of a suitable vacancy in another department. If an employee's request for a transfer is due to harassment in a particular department, the first step is to take action against the harassment.
• Every employee has to understand that they have to work and perform in a given environment and they cannot be insulated from bosses, colleagues, subordinates, clients, and customers coming from different backgrounds with different mental setups and intentions.
• I feel management and HR are unnecessarily involved in a personal matter and are getting carried away. The same is the case with most CiteHR members.
Thanks & Regards
From India, Pune
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Dear Kamal, Are you from HR ? I have some doubt.......... I think this is an imagine story created by you like another non hr like question about short skirt ...... Dada
From India, New Delhi
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From India, New Delhi
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Dear Kamal,
You have appreciated both employees. There may be some jealous colleagues spreading rift between the two, thereby creating grounds for harm to all, including the organization. Try to find out if this is true. Take strict, visible, and deterrent action against any employee spreading hatred between colleagues.
Regards,
Satyavan
From India, Delhi
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You have appreciated both employees. There may be some jealous colleagues spreading rift between the two, thereby creating grounds for harm to all, including the organization. Try to find out if this is true. Take strict, visible, and deterrent action against any employee spreading hatred between colleagues.
Regards,
Satyavan
From India, Delhi
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I don't agree with suggestions by Mohan Rao. Why can't HR terminate the wife? Ultimately, whoever is terminated, the financial burden has to be borne by the family. HR is not "god." It's not correct to terminate someone; after all, it's their pride. And positively, in today's world, everyone knows how people are rather fond of having extramarital affairs. So, sort these things out.
Regards
From India, Ahmadabad
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Regards
From India, Ahmadabad
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Why terminate husband or wife? On what grounds? What is their fault? Are they not performing? Have they committed any misconduct? Have they caused any losses or embarrassment to the company?
If the answer to any of the above questions is yes, then is termination the right punishment? Is it not too severe a punishment?
Answer these questions! Think!
From India, Pune
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If the answer to any of the above questions is yes, then is termination the right punishment? Is it not too severe a punishment?
Answer these questions! Think!
From India, Pune
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Dear Kamal Amrohi,
In spite of such a tremendous response, since no solution has come up so far that satisfies you, it appears that you already have some line of action up your sleeve. Under the circumstances, however, I would suggest that as a 'competent' HR person, you should not interfere in the personal lives and personal relationships of employees. After all, you do not have any written complaints or evidence, and whatever has emerged is hearsay and imagination of concerned persons, including yourself.
Organizations (including 'over-enthusiastic HRs) should allow employees to lead their own lives and not intrude upon their privacy, especially in the case of relationships between couples, when there has been no reported loss in productivity. Instead of finding completely 'fictitious' excuses to fire an employee.
Regards.
From India, Delhi
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In spite of such a tremendous response, since no solution has come up so far that satisfies you, it appears that you already have some line of action up your sleeve. Under the circumstances, however, I would suggest that as a 'competent' HR person, you should not interfere in the personal lives and personal relationships of employees. After all, you do not have any written complaints or evidence, and whatever has emerged is hearsay and imagination of concerned persons, including yourself.
Organizations (including 'over-enthusiastic HRs) should allow employees to lead their own lives and not intrude upon their privacy, especially in the case of relationships between couples, when there has been no reported loss in productivity. Instead of finding completely 'fictitious' excuses to fire an employee.
Regards.
From India, Delhi
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Dear Kamal,
Please show these 8 pages of comments from CITEHR to both the husband and wife. Try to evoke an emotional response regarding their attitude and the topic discussed. Make them realize that they could risk losing their jobs in any other organization under similar circumstances.
Even though your company is committed to resolving the issue, ask them to consider changing their attitude and behavior.
Regards,
Gaurav
[QUOTE kamal_amrohi;1150400]Dear all,
Thank you for your responses. However, I have not yet reached a conclusion. As professionals, what should our course of action be? I am hesitant to intervene in their personal lives, and they also prefer not to have others interfere in their personal matters. Both individuals are from different departments and hold significant roles in our organization. Our management is reluctant to relocate them to different offices since we do not have operations in India; all our offices are overseas.
The husband has proposed resigning, but the management is keen on retaining him. Should we accept his resignation or not?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi[/QUOTE]
From India, Kota
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Please show these 8 pages of comments from CITEHR to both the husband and wife. Try to evoke an emotional response regarding their attitude and the topic discussed. Make them realize that they could risk losing their jobs in any other organization under similar circumstances.
Even though your company is committed to resolving the issue, ask them to consider changing their attitude and behavior.
Regards,
Gaurav
[QUOTE kamal_amrohi;1150400]Dear all,
Thank you for your responses. However, I have not yet reached a conclusion. As professionals, what should our course of action be? I am hesitant to intervene in their personal lives, and they also prefer not to have others interfere in their personal matters. Both individuals are from different departments and hold significant roles in our organization. Our management is reluctant to relocate them to different offices since we do not have operations in India; all our offices are overseas.
The husband has proposed resigning, but the management is keen on retaining him. Should we accept his resignation or not?
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi[/QUOTE]
From India, Kota
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Dear PSDhingra I feel your information may be right. and if it is like that, the faith of this site and people who think and than give replies may heart. thanks for informing us..
From India, Kota
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From India, Kota
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You can collect information among staff to identify the root cause of the problem, whether it involves a single male employee. Additionally, try to determine if the particular employee is indeed behaving in such a manner based on your observations. If the specific employee is valuable to the company, consider transferring the male employee to a different location under some pretext.
Regards,
Rams
From India, Madras
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Regards,
Rams
From India, Madras
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Well, counseling is okay provided both parties are ready for it, and the counselor should be an outsider. Why shift? It is not going to solve the problem. There will be males around in other departments as well. Filing a case - Against whom? What will be the charges? This is wild imagination! Instead, take action against those who are gossiping and bad-mouthing, provided the husband or wife lodge a formal complaint against them.
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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hi i personally think one must leave the job, because discussing this problem not only spoil official as well as personal life.
From India, Delhi
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From India, Delhi
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Dear Kalyani Thakur,
As per your post on 27th May 2010, I would like to mention that your initial words are correct. It seems that the husband must have heard something very bad, which is why he is suddenly reacting in such a manner after working together comfortably for 5 years.
However, the suggestion that you gave would rather worsen the situation because at that time, rumors and comments would come for two persons (now it is only one person - the wife). It would have worked better if it had simply been a friend-circle.
Sorry for that.
From India, Guwahati
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As per your post on 27th May 2010, I would like to mention that your initial words are correct. It seems that the husband must have heard something very bad, which is why he is suddenly reacting in such a manner after working together comfortably for 5 years.
However, the suggestion that you gave would rather worsen the situation because at that time, rumors and comments would come for two persons (now it is only one person - the wife). It would have worked better if it had simply been a friend-circle.
Sorry for that.
From India, Guwahati
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The hubby has come up with a resignation, which means he is 'right' to save his wife. Had he suspected or misunderstood his wife, he would have rather asked his wife to resign. In such situations, a sensible and responsible wife would have stopped him from doing so and would have understood her husband's emotions, which this lady is not doing. Instead, she is spoiling the environment. So, how can this be a sign of a good wife? It is a matter of spouse relationship problem, other than a management/HR problem. Because if she fails to handle her personal relations, how can we expect her to develop and maintain an understanding relationship with her colleagues? This indirectly implies that she cannot be a good employee as well.
Mr. Amrohi, my suggestion is that you don't accept the husband's resignation. Instead, the lady should be warned and fired for spoiling the office environment further.
From India, Guwahati
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Mr. Amrohi, my suggestion is that you don't accept the husband's resignation. Instead, the lady should be warned and fired for spoiling the office environment further.
From India, Guwahati
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Dear readers, please take note of this quote to understand the extent of the badmouthing that the colleagues engaged in. Naturally, any husband would lose his temper and ask or suggest his wife not to talk, or to reduce the frankness of her interactions, with those colleagues in order to keep her safe.
It is disheartening to see that even after 11 pages of posts, only a few people could grasp the real issue, which is that the wife is not understanding her husband, thus causing him to feel helpless.
From India, Guwahati
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It is disheartening to see that even after 11 pages of posts, only a few people could grasp the real issue, which is that the wife is not understanding her husband, thus causing him to feel helpless.
From India, Guwahati
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Dear All,
According to me, ask your wife to analyze where the relationship is lacking. Why are all these issues coming up now when previously everything was fine? Tell both wife and husband to work together to solve this problem. If her husband is becoming possessive, please remind him that his wife is his only one, and no one will take her from him. So, relax and instead of wasting time on trivial matters, enjoy your life to the fullest and support each other in all aspects of life.
Regards,
Shilpa Singh
From India, Delhi
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According to me, ask your wife to analyze where the relationship is lacking. Why are all these issues coming up now when previously everything was fine? Tell both wife and husband to work together to solve this problem. If her husband is becoming possessive, please remind him that his wife is his only one, and no one will take her from him. So, relax and instead of wasting time on trivial matters, enjoy your life to the fullest and support each other in all aspects of life.
Regards,
Shilpa Singh
From India, Delhi
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I feel that giving a temporary transfer to both husband and wife to a new place would help. Generally, jobs these days have a lot of stress, and when relationships are not nurtured, they tend to wither away. When the couple gets a chance to be away from the situations causing insecurity, they are in a better situation to sort out their problems. New challenges tend to distract them and unite them to face the new environs.
Emotional or relationship counseling when given at the company level tends to bring in complications, possibly because their ego is hurt. They feel that their colleague would get to know about it or it may affect their career in a big way, or they would become objects of gossip. Their insecurity itself makes them deny the facts.
Regards,
Olives
From India, Hubli
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Emotional or relationship counseling when given at the company level tends to bring in complications, possibly because their ego is hurt. They feel that their colleague would get to know about it or it may affect their career in a big way, or they would become objects of gossip. Their insecurity itself makes them deny the facts.
Regards,
Olives
From India, Hubli
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Dear Kamal Amrohi,
You have not provided any clarification regarding the doubts of some community members about whether you truly belong to the HR community. Despite receiving a significant response, you remain undecided.
The creation of social groups such as Job Seekers Paradise, Hyderabad HR, Pune HR & Legal, etc., suggests that you are associated with a placement agency rather than being positioned as an HR professional within an organization. Even the choice of adopting the name Kamal Amrohi, a well-known Film Director of "Pakeezah" and husband of the late Meena Kumari, a renowned actress, reflects your astute nature.
In my previous post, I asked you, "What does your company have to do with the personal affairs and disputes between a husband and wife?" You have not provided a clarification on that matter. Thus, it appears that even if you hold a position within a company, you may be unnecessarily involving yourself in the personal matters of a couple, where the company has no relevance.
Dear Dhingra,
Thank you for your email. It is commendable that you have sufficient time to track individuals. The resume in question belonged to my brother. There is no issue with me submitting it to the relevant person if there is a requirement.
You serve as a prime example of a young, inexperienced HR professional.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Delhi
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You have not provided any clarification regarding the doubts of some community members about whether you truly belong to the HR community. Despite receiving a significant response, you remain undecided.
The creation of social groups such as Job Seekers Paradise, Hyderabad HR, Pune HR & Legal, etc., suggests that you are associated with a placement agency rather than being positioned as an HR professional within an organization. Even the choice of adopting the name Kamal Amrohi, a well-known Film Director of "Pakeezah" and husband of the late Meena Kumari, a renowned actress, reflects your astute nature.
In my previous post, I asked you, "What does your company have to do with the personal affairs and disputes between a husband and wife?" You have not provided a clarification on that matter. Thus, it appears that even if you hold a position within a company, you may be unnecessarily involving yourself in the personal matters of a couple, where the company has no relevance.
Dear Dhingra,
Thank you for your email. It is commendable that you have sufficient time to track individuals. The resume in question belonged to my brother. There is no issue with me submitting it to the relevant person if there is a requirement.
You serve as a prime example of a young, inexperienced HR professional.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Delhi
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Hi,
It seems you have not seen responses from all the members on all the pages of this thread. Would you like to suggest what right the company or the author of this thread has to interfere in the personal affairs and disputes of the husband and wife if the company does not have any written complaints against any employee?
Even the identity of the author of the question is in doubt. He is not forthcoming with any clarifications to the doubts created by some community members. For example, you may like to see my own posts at:
1) https://www.citehr.com/256227-husban...usband-10.html
2) https://www.citehr.com/256227-husban...ml#post1153009
In my view, he is just entertaining himself by creating a fictitious problem and is undecided even after having a huge response from members, but just continuing with his fun-making stint.
From India, Delhi
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It seems you have not seen responses from all the members on all the pages of this thread. Would you like to suggest what right the company or the author of this thread has to interfere in the personal affairs and disputes of the husband and wife if the company does not have any written complaints against any employee?
Even the identity of the author of the question is in doubt. He is not forthcoming with any clarifications to the doubts created by some community members. For example, you may like to see my own posts at:
1) https://www.citehr.com/256227-husban...usband-10.html
2) https://www.citehr.com/256227-husban...ml#post1153009
In my view, he is just entertaining himself by creating a fictitious problem and is undecided even after having a huge response from members, but just continuing with his fun-making stint.
From India, Delhi
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Amazing...how the thread takes us on and on without any full stop...or review... suddenly this thread has fallen silent... Thanks to psdhingra for the insight??
From India, Bangalore
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From India, Bangalore
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Dear Dhingraji,
Thanks once again. Well, it seems you are quite a senior person, as you know who Kamal Amrohi is. What can I do with my name as it was given by my grandfather? My grandfather was a great fan of him, so what can I do, sir? I am really sorry if I have hurt you somewhere or the other.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Thanks once again. Well, it seems you are quite a senior person, as you know who Kamal Amrohi is. What can I do with my name as it was given by my grandfather? My grandfather was a great fan of him, so what can I do, sir? I am really sorry if I have hurt you somewhere or the other.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Dear All, Thanks to you all for your response. Well,the Management has accepted the resignation,as they don’t want to put there nose into their personal life. Regards, Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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From India, Pune
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Dear Ravi,
We tried our best to convince both of them, we had counseling and all. But Mr. Husband doesn't want to continue. Anyway, the situation was more like personal. So, it was like we are interfering into their personal life. They are highly educated and grown-up people, so it's up to them.
So we left the decision for management. Thanks for your response.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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We tried our best to convince both of them, we had counseling and all. But Mr. Husband doesn't want to continue. Anyway, the situation was more like personal. So, it was like we are interfering into their personal life. They are highly educated and grown-up people, so it's up to them.
So we left the decision for management. Thanks for your response.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Dear Dada,
These types of problems usually come up in the HR Department because employees interact with us as we recruit them, and they trust us. They often share personal information with us. Who has the time to imagine a story like this? Even if I were to imagine one, why would I choose to post it on such a reputable site where I have learned so much?
Thank you for your query.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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These types of problems usually come up in the HR Department because employees interact with us as we recruit them, and they trust us. They often share personal information with us. Who has the time to imagine a story like this? Even if I were to imagine one, why would I choose to post it on such a reputable site where I have learned so much?
Thank you for your query.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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I tend to agree with Ravi. It feels like an anti-climax. The working couple had to suffer for no fault of theirs. Moreover, there was no attempt to take any action against those employees who use "office canteen" for indulging in inappropriate, disruptive behavior - this is where the concerned HR has failed to take a definite punitive action.
Regards.
From India, Delhi
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Regards.
From India, Delhi
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Dear Kamal Amrohi,
I feel sorry for the couple, but it's unfortunate because the one most affected is the wife and not the husband. Nowadays, most companies have dual employment policies in trying to keep couples/families together. It is important to talk to the husband and explain to him that his wife needs to interact literally with everyone around her work area unless he needs her to stay at home. I have witnessed a couple of cases in my organization, and it is very stressful.
From Switzerland
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I feel sorry for the couple, but it's unfortunate because the one most affected is the wife and not the husband. Nowadays, most companies have dual employment policies in trying to keep couples/families together. It is important to talk to the husband and explain to him that his wife needs to interact literally with everyone around her work area unless he needs her to stay at home. I have witnessed a couple of cases in my organization, and it is very stressful.
From Switzerland
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Dear Mr. Hansdah,
Please come out of the imaginative world. Well, the comments were not passed at the office canteen; it was a canteen outside the company. Wake up, Hansdah, now the issue is over. You never came up with a solution and just beat about the bush.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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Please come out of the imaginative world. Well, the comments were not passed at the office canteen; it was a canteen outside the company. Wake up, Hansdah, now the issue is over. You never came up with a solution and just beat about the bush.
Regards,
Kamal Amrohi
From India, Pune
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My dear friend,
In my humble opinion, once a member posts a thread, he should go through all the responses minutely. Also, he should go through his own posts minutely.
You seem to have missed my two posts on the 28th of May itself (your thread was posted on the 26th of May); wherein I have put up certain questions.
As far as your contention that "You never came up with a solution and just beating about the bush"; I agree with you to the extent that I DO NOT BELIEVE IN GIVING SOLUTIONS ON A PLATTER and SPOON-FEEDING!! Had you read the post minutely, you would have got all your solutions and answers.
However, since you are not an HR person, it's not expected that you should understand all the underlying issues.
Now you say that "Well, the comments were not passed at the office canteen, it was a canteen outside the company."
Please RE-READ YOUR EARLIER post, wherein you had written:
"Once he was in the company canteen sitting at some corner. There he heard about some wrong comments being passed by her wife's colleagues. It was the whole team."
Further, you had written in a subsequent post:
"Well, the husband was saying that her colleagues were speaking really bad. They had a bet on some color of the undergarment worn by her & one of the colleagues lost the bet. The person who lost the bet was giving the party. He told these things to her wife, but still she is speaking to those colleagues in a very friendly way."
You explain the apparent contradictions now that you claim otherwise. Dear friend, an HR person needs to be very careful about the statements he makes, as they are at times required to give statements in judicial and labor courts. It is good that you are not in the HR department.
- You also missed the post by Bindu, despite being repeatedly pointed out by Mahr.
- You did not take kindly to Mr. Dhingra's (who is a very senior person in terms of experience) posts - accusing him of being a young, inexperienced HR; whereas a poster should be thankful to everyone who has taken the effort and spared time in sending a reply, even if it criticizes the issues involved. Obviously, you were only looking for some pat on the back, rather than solutions.
Hope you will read this post carefully, without any anger for not getting the reply in the manner you would have wanted it to.
From India, Delhi
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In my humble opinion, once a member posts a thread, he should go through all the responses minutely. Also, he should go through his own posts minutely.
You seem to have missed my two posts on the 28th of May itself (your thread was posted on the 26th of May); wherein I have put up certain questions.
As far as your contention that "You never came up with a solution and just beating about the bush"; I agree with you to the extent that I DO NOT BELIEVE IN GIVING SOLUTIONS ON A PLATTER and SPOON-FEEDING!! Had you read the post minutely, you would have got all your solutions and answers.
However, since you are not an HR person, it's not expected that you should understand all the underlying issues.
Now you say that "Well, the comments were not passed at the office canteen, it was a canteen outside the company."
Please RE-READ YOUR EARLIER post, wherein you had written:
"Once he was in the company canteen sitting at some corner. There he heard about some wrong comments being passed by her wife's colleagues. It was the whole team."
Further, you had written in a subsequent post:
"Well, the husband was saying that her colleagues were speaking really bad. They had a bet on some color of the undergarment worn by her & one of the colleagues lost the bet. The person who lost the bet was giving the party. He told these things to her wife, but still she is speaking to those colleagues in a very friendly way."
You explain the apparent contradictions now that you claim otherwise. Dear friend, an HR person needs to be very careful about the statements he makes, as they are at times required to give statements in judicial and labor courts. It is good that you are not in the HR department.
- You also missed the post by Bindu, despite being repeatedly pointed out by Mahr.
- You did not take kindly to Mr. Dhingra's (who is a very senior person in terms of experience) posts - accusing him of being a young, inexperienced HR; whereas a poster should be thankful to everyone who has taken the effort and spared time in sending a reply, even if it criticizes the issues involved. Obviously, you were only looking for some pat on the back, rather than solutions.
Hope you will read this post carefully, without any anger for not getting the reply in the manner you would have wanted it to.
From India, Delhi
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Dear Hansdah,
Reply, as addressed to you, by the author of the story clearly vindicates his irritation for any good advice for an HR man.
From the thread and his other additions, you can see the husband of a female employee, who had very serious objections over the interaction of his wife with the male colleagues and their derogatory comments, preferred to tender resignation. Further, the wife when not ready to adhere to the advice of her husband for not interacting with her male colleagues, even when they try to raise bad comments for the wife, it indicates, the wife did not have any objection even if her colleagues insult her. This great HR man was not interested to post the husband and wife at different offices of the company. So, the husband can be seen to have thought as if the problem would end with his own resignation and he would feel relaxed and happy in his married life. Still further, the author of the thread preferred to get his resignation accepted by the company even against the advice of the majority of the members of this community.
Probably the author of the thread thinks the problem is all over with the wife now on acceptance of the resignation of her husband and neither she would have to interact with or to listen to comments of her male colleagues. REALLY GREAT!! He does not visualize that he paved a way to more such type of serious indiscipline in the company where her male colleagues would get total free hand not only to tease but could even dare to molest her in the absence of her husband being nowhere in the picture to see all.
The author of the thread preferred at one time to say, "Once he was into the company canteen sitting at some corner. There he heard about some wrong comments being passed by her wife's colleagues. It was the whole team." The other time (in a recent post) he states, "Well, the comments were not passed at the office canteen, it was a canteen outside the company."
In fact, I consider and already termed it as totally a fictitious story created by the author.
It is not a case of single contradiction from the side of the author of this thread. If you see all his contributions to this thread, you can find several contradictions. In fact, he tried to add spice every time to make his original story more delicious and attention-grabbing by adding several new and even contradictory contributions to attract more and more comments from community members just for his amusement. I had already expressed my doubt whether he is really an HR man. A person who could become the cause to pave the way for more and more indiscipline within the organization by preferring to accept the resignation of the husband can never be an HR man.
Needless to emphasize, there must also be other female employees in the company. If such bad elements, whose behavior could lead to the husband's resignation, are not tamed and made to learn some lesson in time, the other women employees are also definitely likely to get maltreatment from those bad elements. Rather, they may also be getting already the same treatment from those employees.
So, can you think, the person who authored the story and ended the climax with the creation of an explosive situation for his own company and all of its women employees simply to leave the company to earn a bad name for the company for the time to come, could be an HR man?
My dear friend,
In my humble opinion, once a member posts a thread, he should go through all the responses minutely. Also, he should go through his own posts minutely.
You seem to have missed my two posts on 28th May itself (your thread was posted on 26th May); wherein I have put up certain questions.
As far as your contention that "You never came up with a solution and just beating about the bush"; I agree with you to the extent that I DO NOT BELIEVE IN GIVING SOLUTIONS ON A PLATTER and SPOON-FEEDING!! Had you read the post minutely, you would have got all your solutions and answers. However, since you are not an HR person, it's not expected that you should understand all the underlying issues.
Now you say that "Well, the comments were not passed at the office canteen, it was a canteen outside the company."
Please RE-READ YOUR EARLIER post, wherein you had written, "Once he was into the company canteen sitting at some corner. There he heard about some wrong comments being passed by her wife's colleagues. It was the whole team." Further, you had written in a subsequent post, "Well, the husband was saying that her colleagues were speaking really bad. They had a bet on some color of the undergarment worn by her, and one of the colleagues lost the bet. The person who lost the bet was giving the party. He told these things to her wife, but still she is speaking to those colleagues in a very friendly way." You explain the apparent contradictions, now that you claim otherwise. Dear friend, an HR person needs to be very careful about the statements he makes, as they are at times required to give statements in judicial and labor courts. It is good that you are not in the HR department.
You also missed the post by Bindu, despite being repeatedly pointed out by Mahr. You did not take kindly to Mr. Dhingra's (who is a very senior person in terms of experience) posts - accusing him of being a young, inexperienced HR; whereas a poster should be thankful to everyone who has taken the effort and spared time in sending a reply, even if it criticizes the issues involved. Obviously, you were only looking for some pat on the back, rather than solutions.
Hope you will read this post carefully, without any anger for not getting the reply in the manner you would have wanted it to.
From India, Delhi
Acknowledge(0)Amend(0)
Reply, as addressed to you, by the author of the story clearly vindicates his irritation for any good advice for an HR man.
From the thread and his other additions, you can see the husband of a female employee, who had very serious objections over the interaction of his wife with the male colleagues and their derogatory comments, preferred to tender resignation. Further, the wife when not ready to adhere to the advice of her husband for not interacting with her male colleagues, even when they try to raise bad comments for the wife, it indicates, the wife did not have any objection even if her colleagues insult her. This great HR man was not interested to post the husband and wife at different offices of the company. So, the husband can be seen to have thought as if the problem would end with his own resignation and he would feel relaxed and happy in his married life. Still further, the author of the thread preferred to get his resignation accepted by the company even against the advice of the majority of the members of this community.
Probably the author of the thread thinks the problem is all over with the wife now on acceptance of the resignation of her husband and neither she would have to interact with or to listen to comments of her male colleagues. REALLY GREAT!! He does not visualize that he paved a way to more such type of serious indiscipline in the company where her male colleagues would get total free hand not only to tease but could even dare to molest her in the absence of her husband being nowhere in the picture to see all.
The author of the thread preferred at one time to say, "Once he was into the company canteen sitting at some corner. There he heard about some wrong comments being passed by her wife's colleagues. It was the whole team." The other time (in a recent post) he states, "Well, the comments were not passed at the office canteen, it was a canteen outside the company."
In fact, I consider and already termed it as totally a fictitious story created by the author.
It is not a case of single contradiction from the side of the author of this thread. If you see all his contributions to this thread, you can find several contradictions. In fact, he tried to add spice every time to make his original story more delicious and attention-grabbing by adding several new and even contradictory contributions to attract more and more comments from community members just for his amusement. I had already expressed my doubt whether he is really an HR man. A person who could become the cause to pave the way for more and more indiscipline within the organization by preferring to accept the resignation of the husband can never be an HR man.
Needless to emphasize, there must also be other female employees in the company. If such bad elements, whose behavior could lead to the husband's resignation, are not tamed and made to learn some lesson in time, the other women employees are also definitely likely to get maltreatment from those bad elements. Rather, they may also be getting already the same treatment from those employees.
So, can you think, the person who authored the story and ended the climax with the creation of an explosive situation for his own company and all of its women employees simply to leave the company to earn a bad name for the company for the time to come, could be an HR man?
My dear friend,
In my humble opinion, once a member posts a thread, he should go through all the responses minutely. Also, he should go through his own posts minutely.
You seem to have missed my two posts on 28th May itself (your thread was posted on 26th May); wherein I have put up certain questions.
As far as your contention that "You never came up with a solution and just beating about the bush"; I agree with you to the extent that I DO NOT BELIEVE IN GIVING SOLUTIONS ON A PLATTER and SPOON-FEEDING!! Had you read the post minutely, you would have got all your solutions and answers. However, since you are not an HR person, it's not expected that you should understand all the underlying issues.
Now you say that "Well, the comments were not passed at the office canteen, it was a canteen outside the company."
Please RE-READ YOUR EARLIER post, wherein you had written, "Once he was into the company canteen sitting at some corner. There he heard about some wrong comments being passed by her wife's colleagues. It was the whole team." Further, you had written in a subsequent post, "Well, the husband was saying that her colleagues were speaking really bad. They had a bet on some color of the undergarment worn by her, and one of the colleagues lost the bet. The person who lost the bet was giving the party. He told these things to her wife, but still she is speaking to those colleagues in a very friendly way." You explain the apparent contradictions, now that you claim otherwise. Dear friend, an HR person needs to be very careful about the statements he makes, as they are at times required to give statements in judicial and labor courts. It is good that you are not in the HR department.
You also missed the post by Bindu, despite being repeatedly pointed out by Mahr. You did not take kindly to Mr. Dhingra's (who is a very senior person in terms of experience) posts - accusing him of being a young, inexperienced HR; whereas a poster should be thankful to everyone who has taken the effort and spared time in sending a reply, even if it criticizes the issues involved. Obviously, you were only looking for some pat on the back, rather than solutions.
Hope you will read this post carefully, without any anger for not getting the reply in the manner you would have wanted it to.
From India, Delhi
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